Oh Wal-Mart God,

Please bring your smiley face to the electronics section to lower the price on the 32 inch plasma television. And yea, allow me to buy the Remington 870 with the ammo today. Dear Lord, I had to take a rain check on the Dale Jr. beach towel. Please speed the trucks to my location so I can have that before the Watkins Glen race. Cigarettes are not on sale for name brand and I pray that you see it in your heart to forgive Phillip-Morris for raising prices. I ask that you help me find my Tweedy Bird slipper I lost chasing Rickey Dale Jr. through the parking lot where I left his dirty diaper for someone else to clean up. Finally I would like to thank you for allowing me to spank my kids in the toy section with no penalty from the local authorities.

In Sam’s name we pray,

Amen

Bro since I got dirtpilled on Tuesday I have made sooo many worm friends and made them soo many little houses to get married in. Me? Lonely? No you’re the lonely one u lawn owning freak