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In the years prior to 1822, squirrels were really busy fornicating and doing experimental drugs. This was a time that can roughly be equated to the 60's in America. Well-fare was none existent in that time and the squirrels had so many bastard babies that they couldn't feed them all. The squirrels, after realizing their mistake, took to the streets and overwhelmed the cities. People were mauled and clawed to death to sate the needs of the squirrel population. Upon receiving the news, the U.N. convened, formed a plan and developed an experimental new weapon. Taking back key areas and using the newly developed Shotgun, humans were able to turn the tide and restore the squirrel population to defeatable numbers. A treaty was signed in the year 1823, but the effects of The Great Squirrel Stampede are still felt today.
"Dad, is it true that some men had their nuts gnawed off during The Great Squirrel Stampede of 1822?"

"Get the shotgun, Jimmy! Those squirrely fucks are stampeding again! I hope it's not a repeat of The Great Squirrel Stampede of 1822."
by ChodeRash January 14, 2015
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