Thai Luong
A practical deity in Des Moines, Iowa, Thai Luong was raised out of obscurity by his innate sense of awesome. He leads the city scoreboard in three areas: Showing Up, Kicking Ass, and Taking Names.*
A virtual pioneer in the local music scene, he created a Death Metal band with another local, Isaac Quijano, but abandoned it five minutes later because quote, "That shit was so five minutes ago." He knows the scene. And they know him. Incidentally, he also scored top points for creating the longest, most useless name for any Des Moines band, We Are The Four Horsemen Of The Apocalypse And One Of Us Is Named Death.
He currently owns two vehicles, a 1988 BMW 528e, tentatively known as Fey Killer, and a 2006 Honda Metropolitan, known as Blue Steel of Youknowitssweet. He has crashed his beloved Ducati, known to all as "The One The Brings All The Boys To The Yard."
Thai Luong has slept with everyone. Yes, even that freshman who says that she's 18. Thai Luong believes that everyone deserves a chance in his pants. Even you. Yes, you.
Thai works at A Dong. It is a Vietnamese restaurant. Make fun of the name and he'll kill you. With his good looks.
He DOES NOT deal drugs. Stop calling him.
*These points are hotly contested considering he is always late. The judges ruled in his favor because he always shows up, but his detractors say that he should be disqualified due to chronic lateness. With taking names, sometimes he forgets. But he always gets the digits, and all the judges agree that that's what matters.
Also, no one has ever contested his ranking in the Kicking Ass department. He ALWAYS kicks ass, awesomely and consistently.
A virtual pioneer in the local music scene, he created a Death Metal band with another local, Isaac Quijano, but abandoned it five minutes later because quote, "That shit was so five minutes ago." He knows the scene. And they know him. Incidentally, he also scored top points for creating the longest, most useless name for any Des Moines band, We Are The Four Horsemen Of The Apocalypse And One Of Us Is Named Death.
He currently owns two vehicles, a 1988 BMW 528e, tentatively known as Fey Killer, and a 2006 Honda Metropolitan, known as Blue Steel of Youknowitssweet. He has crashed his beloved Ducati, known to all as "The One The Brings All The Boys To The Yard."
Thai Luong has slept with everyone. Yes, even that freshman who says that she's 18. Thai Luong believes that everyone deserves a chance in his pants. Even you. Yes, you.
Thai works at A Dong. It is a Vietnamese restaurant. Make fun of the name and he'll kill you. With his good looks.
He DOES NOT deal drugs. Stop calling him.
*These points are hotly contested considering he is always late. The judges ruled in his favor because he always shows up, but his detractors say that he should be disqualified due to chronic lateness. With taking names, sometimes he forgets. But he always gets the digits, and all the judges agree that that's what matters.
Also, no one has ever contested his ranking in the Kicking Ass department. He ALWAYS kicks ass, awesomely and consistently.
Thai Luong by Alexander Ramsus December 24, 2008
