TechTV Dork
One who watches TechTV religiously and claims to know everything of IT. Also claims to have a "computer job", but in reality they work retail at Best Buy, Circuit City, CompUSA, or some store that happens to sell computer supplies.
Will give you useless specs for the top of the line video card, or the newest unreleased Microsoft product. But when asked questions related to MAN, VTP, or Ohm's Law, they will either go blank or become enraged.
They have a primal tendancy to "fix" computers to the point they need to be taken to a professional. When confronted with a problem they cannot "fix", their answer is always to reformat. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD YOU LET A TECHTV DORK NEAR YOUR COMPUTER!
Can be found frequenting technology sections of various forums. But tend to troll when corrected. Can also be found gushing over various computer peripherals at retail stores.
When confronted by a TechTV Dork, simply say Apple, Mac, and related words. They will leave you alone and look for other prey.
Will give you useless specs for the top of the line video card, or the newest unreleased Microsoft product. But when asked questions related to MAN, VTP, or Ohm's Law, they will either go blank or become enraged.
They have a primal tendancy to "fix" computers to the point they need to be taken to a professional. When confronted with a problem they cannot "fix", their answer is always to reformat. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD YOU LET A TECHTV DORK NEAR YOUR COMPUTER!
Can be found frequenting technology sections of various forums. But tend to troll when corrected. Can also be found gushing over various computer peripherals at retail stores.
When confronted by a TechTV Dork, simply say Apple, Mac, and related words. They will leave you alone and look for other prey.
Friend- "Here's my Mac, please fix it!"
(Friend gets a call a few hours later...)
TTVD- "I'm having trouble getting into the BIOS, what keys do you press?"
Question- "I need help getting powered Firewire to work on a PC!"
TTVD- "The ATX standard can only output 12V maximum! You can't do that on a PC."
Response- "Ummm, ever heard of ATX 2.03?"
TTVD- "Yes, but it doesn't output more than 12V." (Skimmed for it on google)
Response- "Ever heard of the optional power connector in ATX 2.03?"
TTVD- "Yes! But it's not REQUIRED so it doesn't matter!" (Again, looked it up on google.)
Response- "Ummmmmmmm ooooook"
(Friend gets a call a few hours later...)
TTVD- "I'm having trouble getting into the BIOS, what keys do you press?"
Question- "I need help getting powered Firewire to work on a PC!"
TTVD- "The ATX standard can only output 12V maximum! You can't do that on a PC."
Response- "Ummm, ever heard of ATX 2.03?"
TTVD- "Yes, but it doesn't output more than 12V." (Skimmed for it on google)
Response- "Ever heard of the optional power connector in ATX 2.03?"
TTVD- "Yes! But it's not REQUIRED so it doesn't matter!" (Again, looked it up on google.)
Response- "Ummmmmmmm ooooook"
TechTV Dork by inno May 13, 2005
