Sloth Master

One who masters all characteristics and values of a sloth.

A Sloth Master is usually slow, unwilling, angry, selfish, sleeps until late afternoon, is not up for more than 4 hours a day, is a big fan of self-engorgment, loves money, flirts often with no success and smells like a baby seal or even a sausage that has been left out for too long. A sloth Master also is a big fan of Sloth's and beleive in the prophecy that one day Sloths will rule the world.

A Sloth Master's habitat consists of a bed, TV, a refrigerator and perhaps a toilet if the Sloth Master has enough energy to get to it and use it.

Jones: Hey charlie do you remember that guy that hasent left his apartment for 5 years and then screamed for 2 hours at pedestrians that one day sloths will rule the world?
Charlie: Yea, then he got in a fight with a hobo because the hobo wasn't slow enough for his liking. What a Sloth Master.

Mum: Hey Bob it is 5pm get up!
Sloth Master: Mum i said dont wake me up early! Now get me some food now! Can't you see im wasting away?
Mum: What a lazy bastard.
Sloth Master: WHAT WAS THAT?
mum: i said ALL HAIL SLOTHS!
Sloth Master: thats what i thought you said, useless!

Sloth Master by Super Beast January 30, 2008