A sweets goon is generally anorexic due to the high intake of budget cola and low grade confectionary. A sweets goon generally appears much older than in reality due to stress of wanting sweets 24/7. Sweets goons generally avoid schools because hanging around offering crap bon-bons or mishaped chocolate bars is a bad look. It is not uncommon to see a sweets goon being ejected from premises for apparent drug abuse whilst screaming "its only a sherbet dib dab!!" . Sweets goons generally have terrible fashion sense and dress like bertie bassett on heroin. Sweets goons often resort to petty squabbling over the last werthers original or begging for a pound coin to get 3 packets of buzz.
by IVOR BIGCOCK December 14, 2014
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