Gassy Fruitcake Bitch 

A certain 50-year old woman often seen stalking female students around victoria campus at UofT. She is recognizable by her excess amounts of neon lipstick which she regularly applies in public; her cross-dresser pleather stilettos, and extremely high-rise boot-cut jeans.

She is known to follow female victims into the washroom of the E. J. Pratt library, where she will enter the adjacent stall with her pleather toes pointing into the victim's. She then proceeds to fart loudly. Gassy Fruitcake Bitch has also been identified loudly accusing students of eating and speaking in the library, and threatening to tell on them.

Such organizations as RUDE (Ridding (vic of it's) Uncouth Disgusting Enhabitants) work to rid the Victoria college campus of the Gassy Fruitcake Bitch. The president has recently stated that they will have to redouble efforts due to the extreme presence of her lipstick, which has canceled a year's worth of work.

One Victoria student has expressed his fear, "I don't mind her that much, I'm just scared she'll fart on me." Perhaps she'll marry Brendt and they will fart on each other's heads.

"Gassy Fruitcake Bitch sightings have reached an all-time high this week."

Gassy Fruitcake Bitch by s-h April 1, 2008