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Funeral Beard 

The woman you take to a family funeral because your family expects someone to console you and you haven't told them about Rodrigo yet and your worried it might kill your Aunt Marguerite.

It probably won't, but you're not a risk taker.
"What mom? A funeral beard? I don't know what your talking about. I brought stacy so she could console me...you know, sexually.....with her uh....vagina.....and stuff..."
Funeral Beard by Brinkman1 December 15, 2009
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