Felipe Ortiz 

A noble and kind man, indigenous to Stamford Connecticut. This special breed of involuntary retardius better known as a “special thinker” can apprehend high levels of cognitive function such as urinating upon a bonefire. Felipe is better known for his unique aura of intense inactivity. Felipe can also be used as an adjective in a sense to describe a person, one whom can appear not to have an intact brain, as to have lost it in an accident such as forcing ones head into an inanimate object. Not to be confused with similar species such as the Dan, The A, The Double A, whom of which will be described in another post.

Girl: oh look at that kid wearing the helmet staring at the wall
Boy: yeah that happens sometimes
Girl: he’s such a Felipe Ortiz

Boy: stop hitting your head against the bathroom stall!
Boy 2: how are you hitting two stall doors with your head at the same time?!
Boy 3: It’s ok he’s pulling a Felipe Ortiz

Boy 1: God the fire is dying, it’s so cold
Boy 2 : I think it’s time to set up sleeping bags and go to sleep
Boy 1: I’m not going to bed just because the fire is pulling a Felipe Ortiz

Felipe Ortiz by IntelligentMoron September 10, 2019