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Baptist First Time 

When a nice Baptist girl waits until her wedding night to have sex, only to find that her hymen has solidified and her nice Baptist boy is unable to penetrate her. After the embarrassment, awkwardness, and doubt subsides, she is forced to go have a doctor surgically "pop her cherry." This concludes the Baptist First Time.

*Any form of conservative dogma that is cuckoo about premarital sex can be substituted for Baptist.
Nice Baptist Boy's Friend: "Yo dude, your wife was a virgin, right? That's hot! How was she?"

Nice Baptist Boy: "We had a Baptist First Time. She was un-enter-able."

Nice Baptist Boy's Friend: "Ouchhhh. That's balls, man."

Nice Baptist Boy: "Yeah, the doctor got to have all the fun."
Baptist First Time by CMKTBH January 8, 2010
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