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Absolute Fucker 

A person who goes on vacations when he's several years late on a deadline then acts put upon when people call him out on it.

Also a person who lures people into his home with promises of lemony cakes only to serve them Wild Cards and miniature sex dolls.
Me: Some would say that GRRM is an absolute fucker.

You: I agree with them.

Me: Hey, me too!

You: OK, it is settled then.
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Absolute Fuckery 

Something that is completely unfair, ridiculous, or shameful. It is generally used towards a situation/event rather than a person/thing.
Carl (at work)- Did you hear?
Steve- Hear what?
Carl- Shayla is making us work on Saturday.
Steve- That is absolute Fuckery!
Absolute Fuckery by LemonZest June 19, 2016

AbsoluteCUCKERY 

When you witness a DENSE-ASS guy, miss all the "Hints" from a chick who is clearly into him.
Jamie: Yo, dude i saw Michelle talking to Andrew about coming over to have "fun" at her place, late at night
Frank: What did Andrew say about that?
Jamie: Dude, he said he would rather sleep at night then have fun
Frank: WOWWWW, now that's AbsoluteCUCKERY