I wish I was Jared, 19

This phrase can be seen in the comment section of outrageous or otherwise shocking posts to express disturbance, confusion, or surprise. It refers to the popular vine “My name is Jared, I’m 19, and I never learned how to fucking read”

*A tweet vividly describing someones sexual fantasy involving feet, motor oil, 13 male strippers, toothpaste, used toilet paper, and a bidet*

Comment section:
“Man, I wish I was Jared, 19”

by Seen_too_much June 7, 2024

i wish a bitch would

hoping someone will carry out with what they're claiming to do (female)

Shanice said she was gonna clomp my head yesterday, i wish a bitch would

by Chpvlie December 19, 2023

I wish I was dead

(Darling, no! Oh god, no no no. Please don't.. Look, I know I am just a stranger on the internet you just found but listen here, I just need to tell you this. I understand your feelings and desire for it but- but this isn't how you end it. You have so much potential. You- You are just.. lucky in your own way, maybe. I don't know you or what kind of life you've had but trust me, I had the same life too. Whether it's because of family issues, personal stuff, work problems, bullying, disability, harassments, whatever it is.. Don't. Even I have problems and I came here to define this term/help you all out. Please don't. You can do this. Even though we may have never met or will never do it. Just remember..

There is a person whose dream life is yours.
There is a person who thinks about you, indirectly.
There is a person who cares.
There is a person who smiles everyday because of you.
There is a person who healed because of you.

I wish to be the same person for you.

Keep smiling. Keep laughing. And never ever lose your bright joy in the dark tunnel of life and trauma.)

Anyways..

Actual Definition: A phrase either told as a joke by people when something bad happens or when they are in a situation or a phrase told by depressed and broken people who cannot take life's burden anymore and just wishes for the end of their existence to wipe away the pain and trauma.

EXAMPLE 1:

(Person 1 spills coffee over her new dress)

Person 1: Oh sh- (sighs) I wish I was dead.

Friends: (snicker) Dudee.. You can't say that-

EXAMPLE 2:
(Person 1 is depressed and alone)

Person 1: I wish I was dead-

Friend: Are you okay? Do you need help?

Person 1: ... yes.. Remember: It's okay to let go and ask for help

Friend: Let's talk. It's gonna be alright..

by Arandomgirlwhowantsyoutosmile❤ August 7, 2024

Tish I Wish

When you see her you will know she is one of a kind like that shiny silver dollar at the ban that you wish you had she is always indoors so if you catch a Tish I Wish out stop her and tell her how you feel because she will appreciate her and she likes Starbucks coffee

When I ordered a Carmel Macchiato at star buck a Tish I Wish said in a soft voice I like that kind a coffee and I gave it to her

by Shaman Cortez Shinibi June 7, 2022

<.7.9.7.6.>I WIsh TO Be You<.7.9.7.6.>

<.7.9.7.6.>I WIsh TO Be You<.7.9.7.6.>

<.7.9.7.6.>I WIsh TO Be You<.7.9.7.6.>

by TheGeneralGenitalsPranksterian May 5, 2025

Billie i wish

Expression to discribe how much you wish to be Billie Eilish.

My friend: Check my new hairstyle, green roots juste like Billie Eilish!
Me: Billie i wish.

by founes November 15, 2023

<.7.9.7.6.>I WIsh I Can Change THe Status Quo Of Things<.7.9.7.6.>

<.7.9.7.6.>I WIsh I Can Change THe Status Quo Of Things<.7.9.7.6.>

<.7.9.7.6.>I WIsh I Can Change THe Status Quo Of Things<.7.9.7.6.>

by GetThemOutOfYOurLife June 11, 2025