Felon's Tree Removal

A colloquial term for an arborist from upstate NY or other back woods place who employs felons, particularly, registered sex offenders.

He first verifies that they are indeed registered sex offenders - or at a minimum convicted felon - and then he gives them unsupervised access to chainsaws and wood chippers. Sometimes accidents happen and there end up fewer felons than they started with, so it's not all bad.

Other times - well, felons with chainsaw... The possibilities are endless, and some aren't so great.

Bro "Brah, where can I get a job? I just I'm on parole, so nobody's gonna hire me."
Brah "Bro, go work for Felon's Tree Removal. They'll hire ya. They literally only hire felons."
Bro "Nah, Bra, they won't let me do anything. I'm a felon."
Bra "The hell they won't! You'll get your own chainsaw, wood chipper, shit, you'll probably get your own shotgun to protect you from choopacobras and parole officers."

by Double take July 10, 2025

seventh-cousin-8X-removed

Seventh-cousin-eight-times-removed (7C8R).

My seventh-cousin-8X-removed is a good person.

by N8953SW June 26, 2021

boot remover

Sister in headlock with your ass in the air and being kicked in the nuts sex position 102

My daddy gave me the boot remover last night.

by Pineapple is the safe word September 5, 2022

third-cousin-twice-removed

1- Grandparent's third-cousin.
2- Third-cousin's grandchild.

third-cousin-twice-removed.

by Simaduria July 26, 2024

fifth-cousin-4X-removed

Fifth-cousin-four-times-removed (5C4R).

My fifth-cousin-4X-removed is a good person.

by N8953SW June 26, 2021

boomer remover

More accurate title for the COVID-19 Virus

Person 1: the elderly are at a higher risk of dieing from Corona.
Person 2: Guess you could say it's the Boomer remover

by Zero Fool March 14, 2020

first-cousin-twice-removed-in-law

1- First-cousin-twice-removed's spouse.
2- Spouse's first-cousin-twice-removed.
3- 1C2R-in-law.

My first-cousin-twice-removed-in-law is a good person.

by User655 July 25, 2021