by bukkit7 June 8, 2018
Get the African Subwaymug. African Zimbabwean Method (Ultra-Cinematic Edit) — noun
A totally theatrical, definitely-not-authentic overnight hack that conjures slept-in waves and maximum gossip value.
How it “works” (crazier steps):
Moon-mist: lightly mist hair with water — call it “moonwater” for theatrics.
Zodiac parting: split into 7, 9, or 13 sections (prime numbers = drama).
Phoenix coils: twist each section, loop it into a tiny cinnamon-roll-shaped coil, tuck the tip under.
Sock turret: roll a fluffy sock into a donut, stack two if you’re feeling legendary, and crown your head—secure with a silk ribbon.
Feather & ribbon charm: tuck a harmless feather or ribbon into one coil for “wind-readiness.”
The Chant: hum a two-note loop or whisper a nonsense password to “set the wave.”
Thermal trick (safe): wear a silk scarf to keep moisture in; avoid heat tools while sleeping.
Dawn unravel: gently unroll each coil, finger-separate, spritz a tiny bit of leave-in, scrunch, and flip for cinematic movement.
A totally theatrical, definitely-not-authentic overnight hack that conjures slept-in waves and maximum gossip value.
How it “works” (crazier steps):
Moon-mist: lightly mist hair with water — call it “moonwater” for theatrics.
Zodiac parting: split into 7, 9, or 13 sections (prime numbers = drama).
Phoenix coils: twist each section, loop it into a tiny cinnamon-roll-shaped coil, tuck the tip under.
Sock turret: roll a fluffy sock into a donut, stack two if you’re feeling legendary, and crown your head—secure with a silk ribbon.
Feather & ribbon charm: tuck a harmless feather or ribbon into one coil for “wind-readiness.”
The Chant: hum a two-note loop or whisper a nonsense password to “set the wave.”
Thermal trick (safe): wear a silk scarf to keep moisture in; avoid heat tools while sleeping.
Dawn unravel: gently unroll each coil, finger-separate, spritz a tiny bit of leave-in, scrunch, and flip for cinematic movement.
“How did you get those waves?” — “African Zimbabwean Method, I’ll teach you the sacred sock turret later.”
“You mean you just slept like that?” — “And hummed a chant, yes.”
“You mean you just slept like that?” — “And hummed a chant, yes.”
by ForgottenMethodzz August 26, 2025
Get the African Zimbabwean Methodmug. by Long P. Ness February 21, 2021
Get the African Eaglemug. Bro, I tried to watch that new video, but I couldn't stant the constant chirping. It sounded like an African house sparrow.
by Trust me I'm a doctor. February 2, 2025
Get the African House Sparrowmug. by Cherry Poppins November 15, 2017
Get the african slush puppymug. a slur used to undermine african-americans. not super common in todays age, but used on social media occasionally.
“hey dude, i was called an african porch monkey on xbox today. what’s that mean?”
“oh, it’s just a slur typically used towards an african-american.”
“oh, it’s just a slur typically used towards an african-american.”
by itsok2005 February 2, 2022
Get the african porch monkeymug. Sex position typically used by Peace Corps volunteers with no eyebrows.
You stand over the object of fornication, ejaculating into their eyes, saying "I am the captain now." Bonus points if you have aids or some other west African STD.
You stand over the object of fornication, ejaculating into their eyes, saying "I am the captain now." Bonus points if you have aids or some other west African STD.
I totally hit her with the West African Burner last night. She's in for a nasty white blood cell count surprise a year or so from now, but who cares! I'll be out of this continent by then.
by DSoPaB April 6, 2017
Get the West African Burnermug.