28 definitions by markishmark

Someone who normally considers themselves heterosexual, yet when under the influence of distilled spirits (and sometimes boosted by cocaine) occasionally find themselves with a mouthful of cock.
"That Barney is always getting lucky with the ladies, but I heard that if you get him tatored enough, he turns into a vodka induced cockgobbler!"
by Markishmark May 28, 2008
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A jealous biiotch who insists on smelling her man's crotch when he comes home after a "guys night out."
That skank Kayla is a boner sniffer! Every time Tony comes home after hanging out with the guys, she tells him to drop trou so she can sniff his crotch for traces of another woman's cootchie sauce!
by markishmark June 25, 2008
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Pornumentary is the play by play description of an occurring sexual activity between two people (usually inexperienced) who are totally unaware that their sexual activity can be heard by others.
The following is an excerpt from a pornumentary that I overheard between two teens who camped in a tent next to mine over the Memorial Day weekend.

Jasmine: (tee-hee) Can we try it doggy now?

Brody: (feeling oh so lucky) Sure! But you'll have to move that way a bit!

Jasmine Oooch, that hurts when you slip out and it hits between the holes!

Brody: I'm sorry about that, It doesn't feel too good when I hit the "taint" either!

Jasmine: Taint...? Damn, that rock keeps jabbing into my knee!
by Markishmark May 27, 2008
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Any orifice suitable as a depository for one's man chowder, baby gravy, or spooge.
"That Brianna is one hot goo receptacle! I filled five of her nine holes with my baby batter last night!"
by markishmark June 25, 2008
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A bunch of nonsensical crap. Stuff that doesn't really matter A twisted cluster fuck of whatever.
This presidential election campaign is just a bunch of mishmang!
Do I want Barry "The Anti-Christ" Obama, or another "good old boy" with mishmang for brains? Hmmm, how about lets have them both committed and start all over!
by Markishmark June 16, 2008
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Explosive Ass Syndrome. A condition that usually happens when one is far away from home or a suitable public facility designed for such an explosive event!
If one is lucky enough not to soil themselves, they usually end up with a shart stain or two!
"Dammit Peggy, every time I eat that dang chili of yours I develop E.A.S., and my ass begins to resemble a cornucopia of propane and propane accessories!"
by Markishmark May 30, 2008
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Since the time of Cleopatra, semen has been known to have the age-defying qualities necessary to keep a woman's skin soft and supple. It works best when applied to the face while still a steaming 98.6℉, thus the best application is by way of the money shot.
It is a well known historical fact that Cleopatra would bathe in tubs filled with the spoatie,or man chowder of her male slaves. It was this natural facial cream that was the secret to her radiant beauty. If your woman is protesting the money shot, let her in on this well kept beauty secret and she will be forever grateful!
by markishmark September 02, 2008
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