h.s. willsy's definitions

The Pregnancy Craving Shield

When pregnant women eat junk food with no positive nutritional qualities and claim that it's a craving, they're using the pregnancy craving shield.

"Could you go out and get me another two bags of chips? And a deep fried pizza slice?"

"Really?"

"I'M CRAVING IT!"

"Jesus, put the pregnancy craving shield down already. I'll get it for you. Just stop looking at me like I'm a man-sized chicken leg."

by H.S. Willsy August 26, 2011

Shepherd's Delight

A form of preversion.

When a wily sheep dog catches a pervert breaking in and molesting its flock, it may decide to teach the offender a lesson by giving them a brutal doggy raping. The way they do this is by setting up a fake sheep with a mouse trap inside its fake anus. Obviously, the mouse trap catches the perv with his pants down leaving them open to a terrible raping. Which they then get. Doggy style.

"Come here sheepy. AAAAARRRGGGGHHHH!!!!"

"Woof."

"Oh no!!!! Shepherd's delight!"

See preversions and prevert.

by H.S. Willsy August 25, 2011

Preversions

Preversions are acts commited by preverts, i.e. people who preempt the actions of perverts by doing to a pervert what a pervert would have done to them.

"So what preversions do we know of Inspector?"

"Well there's the reverse jackson, the funky trap, the shepherd's delight and the razorblade romance."

"Nasty stuff, nasty stuff."

"Yes. Beware of the prevert perverts, beware!"

by H.S. Willsy August 25, 2011

Fettlers

A Prestonian word for old men who exist as soon as the pubs are open. They're usually identifiable by their brown, slouched appearance and the musk of cheap tobacco and piss. They may surround themselves with a ring of empty pint glasses as if they were under siege from reality.

"Those fettlers are dying out."

"Yeah?"

"There’s not any less of them, dying out is just their style."

by H.S. Willsy August 25, 2011

Anti-Fetus

People who are anti-fetus believe in the same rights as people who are pro-choice but for more sinister reasons

(For the English spelling see 'Anti-Foetus')

"So you're anti-fetus rather than pro-choice but we all agree that women have the right to choose right?"

"Kind of but really I just hate fetuses. Those things freak me out."

"They are ugly."

"Yeah, like a monkey with the AIDS or something."

by H.S. Willsy August 27, 2011

Whoa

The collective noun of hippies, as in- a whoa of hippies

"Which whoa were you in, the one with the drum circle or the one that Timothy Leary was hanging around?"

"Err...it was the one with the dragon that kept vomiting itself inside out... I think."

"Okay so the second one then. Now lets just go over there and get your goddamn shoes back so we can leave."

by H.S. Willsy August 18, 2011

Trick of the Thai

Mistaking a male Thai prostitute for a female one can be called a 'trick of the thai' due to how ladylike many of them look. It's usually an excuse made by men who were out shopping for some ladyboy action, got caught getting it and then didn't want to admit to it after. Because why would they not just check up front if they didn't want it? It's not like we don't know that they're out there. Lurking.

"Whoa, hey Stan, this girls got balls!"

"Wha...err...oh, no way. Total trick of the thai man, I well thought it was a girl. Honest."

"Hmm."

"Yeah...can I have five minutes to finish off?"

by H.S. Willsy August 26, 2011