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h.s. willsy's definitions

Shitemare

1) To find oneself in a public toilet that is lacking a door lock, a toilet seat or a loo roll

2) Any situation in which poo becomes a visible nuisance
1) "Aww man. there's no toilet paper up in this smelly joint. What a shitemare."

"I've got paper for you buddy, in return for a little something something that is."

"Ted? Is that you?"

"It was always me Bill, it was always me."

2) The Indian Commonwealth Games
by H.S. Willsy August 23, 2011
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Stravaig

Old Scottish, Northern English and Irish word.

Means to wander about aimlessly
"Yish, looking at that stravaiging bag head over there."

"How about I stravaig over there and rub my open wound on you?"

"Easy stravaiger, there's no need to get shirty, I was just making a comment on the aimlessness your existence."

"Tis true I suppose. Any chance of some money?"

"You give oral sex?"

"Certainly sir."

"Buzzing cha, buzzing."
by H.S. Willsy August 26, 2011
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Miami Beached

When someone who is usually terrible with the ladies gets drunk and inexplicably starts pulling hot girls, they are Miami Beached.
"Is that girl still here?"

"Yeah."

"How the fuck did you pull her?"

"Don't know."

"You in shock or something?"

"Most likely."

"Shit, you were well Miami Beached."

"Indubitably."
by H.S. Willsy August 26, 2011
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iSpod

Apple fanboys who know everything about the company from the first line of code on the first Macintosh's operating system to the colour of the inner walls of Steve Job's small intestine
"OMG, I cannot, CANNOT, beliiiiiieve that you still don't have an iPod yet."

"I kind of like my mp3 player dude. I can carry a spare battery around with me in case it runs out and you can't do that with an iPod right?"

"OMG, OMG! Do you know anything about lithium-ion batteries or are you just trying to be cool? Apple bashing is so cool now right? Just get a fucking iPod and an iPhone like uuuuurverybody else."

"Look, iSpod, it's not cute anymore. I'm sick of you sticking your iPhone in my face and showing me some lame app that was seemingly designed by a twelve year old retarded kid. I'm sick of you holding up your iPad in the middle of town and shouting about how cool augmented reality is whilst running about like a fairy. And I'm sick of the sound leak from your shitty, white Apple brand head phones. So. Just. FUCK! OFF!!!!"

"OMG, like whatever."

*KILLS*
by H.S. Willsy August 27, 2011
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Action Satchel

An alternative name for man-bags that was invented to make insecure men feel less effeminate about owning what is essentially a handbag.
Clutching his action satchel, Timmy barged through the closed wooden doors and out into the storm.

"I'll show those lousy lumberjacks who's a real man," he shrieked, stomping his foot against the floor like some sort of wet sissy grasshopper. "I'LL SHOW EM, I'LL SHOW EM, I'LL SHOW EM!!!"
by H.S. Willsy August 25, 2011
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Whoa

The collective noun of hippies, as in- a whoa of hippies
"Which whoa were you in, the one with the drum circle or the one that Timothy Leary was hanging around?"

"Err...it was the one with the dragon that kept vomiting itself inside out... I think."

"Okay so the second one then. Now lets just go over there and get your goddamn shoes back so we can leave."
by H.S. Willsy August 18, 2011
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Bunga Bunga Orgy

An orgy that takes place underwater
As the ship finally sank, and the the sharks began to circle as the last of the rescue boats departed, Tony turned to Emma, Lauren and Christine and asked:

"Bunga bunga orgy?"
by H.S. Willsy August 25, 2011
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