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h.s. willsy's definitions

One Eyed Bandit

A type of live action gambling that can be undertaken in Thailand. First of all the gambler must select three Thai hookers and take them back to his room. The gambler then asks them to reveal their genitals, one by one. Like with a one armed bandit (English word for slot machine), the way to win is to get three cherries in a row. Any less than three cherries and you're BUST
"I wish they had some one armed bandit machines out here."

"We could just play one eyed bandit?"

"Hmm, yeah. Or Thai roulette maybe?"

"Either or man, I just need to unload quickly before my balls get any heavier. I feel like I'm lugging around a couple of coconuts in a 50g peanut bag."
by H.S. Willsy August 26, 2011
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Razorblade Romance

A form of preversion.

Sometimes a person who is afraid of necrophilia will combat the act by ingesting razorblades in their penetrateables when they are approaching death. Often, when performed, it's also the cause of death.
"Better not be another razorblade romance..."

*SHLUMP*

"Uh oh..."

See preversions and prevert
by H.S. Willsy August 25, 2011
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Funky Trap

A form of preversion. Involves inviting a group of foot fetishistists to a house in which shoes must be removed to gain entry. They'll all come assuming that they can sneak away at some point to have an illicit sniff of the shoes left by the door. However, what actually happens is you steal the shoes while they are in the other room and take them away for a horrible sniffing.
"Shoes?!? Where are the goddamn shoes?"

"You after the shoes too?"

"I was after the shoes, was everybody after the shoes?"

"Fuck! It's a funky trap!"

See preversions and prevert
by H.S. Willsy August 25, 2011
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Hebitch

A transgender or transvestite person who still looks more male than female, as opposed to a shemale which is a person who does look female yet still has a penis.

Dame Edna = hebitch
Woman from the crying game = shemale
"Jesus, I could understand if it was a trick of the thai but that was just a regular hebitch."

"I was drunk man, it could have been Ray Winstone in a wig and I wouldn't have clocked on."

"You sure you're not just gay? It's okay if you're gay Rick."

"Nah man, I'm just walking funny cuz I banged my legs playing football."

*ROLLS EYES*
by H.S. Willsy August 26, 2011
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Drunk Reset

A vomit that restores you to an earlier save point of soberness
"I don't feel too bad now but I don't remember anything between here and the club."

"Yeah, you hit the drunk reset on the way back."

"Oh, that's good."

"Not really dude, you were french kissing your girlfriend's brother when it happened."

"Yish, not again."
by H.S. Willsy August 23, 2011
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Kurt Cobrained

When someone gets wasted to the point that there brains are literally no longer in their skull, they are Kurt Cobrained.
"Ah, fuck! This kid on the sofa's Kurt Cobrained man!"

"What?"

"His brains are all external to his skull and shit!"

"Ahhh! Fuck! Put a lamp shade over his head or something!"

"Ahhh! Okay, there we go. Now what?"

"Now we warm these Pot Noodles up."
by H.S. Willsy August 26, 2011
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The Pregnancy Craving Shield

When pregnant women eat junk food with no positive nutritional qualities and claim that it's a craving, they're using the pregnancy craving shield.
"Could you go out and get me another two bags of chips? And a deep fried pizza slice?"

"Really?"

"I'M CRAVING IT!"

"Jesus, put the pregnancy craving shield down already. I'll get it for you. Just stop looking at me like I'm a man-sized chicken leg."
by H.S. Willsy August 26, 2011
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