A Japanese art of self-defense (that does not work unless the person you are fighting stands still) in which sharp blows and kicks are administered to pressure-sensitive points on the body of an opponent.
Lady: Oh my somebody just stole my purse!
Bad Guy: Shut the fuck up bitch! You dont got enough money in this purse!
Fat Out Of Shape Karate Guy: I am a black belt in Karate! Stand still so I can hit you and save this woman purse!
Bad Guy: How about I beat you with my boxing skills?
*Bad Guy beats the shit out of Fat Out Of Shape Karate Guy*
Fat Guy: Maybe I should learn a new self-defense, maybe one that works?
Literally meaning the "art of cowardness", is a Jewish martial art consisting primarily of giving away money. Jew-Jitsu evolved among the average of Jew of The United States as a method for dispatching an armed and armored opponent in situations where the use of money would make a attacker go away. Due to the difficulty of dispatching an armored opponent with striking techniques, the most efficient methods for neutralizing an enemy took the form of giving away a wallet full of money, checks, credit cards and bags of gold. These techniques were developed around the principle of being VERY rich.
Average Jew: I love you sweet heart.
Average Jews Girl friend: I love you.
Bad Guy: Both of you shut the fuck up!
Average Jew's Girl Friend: Oh noes! A bad guy!
Bad Guy: If you don't get out of my way i am going to hurt you punk!
Average Jew: Don't worry honey I know Jew-Jitsu!
*Average Jew Gives away his money and his woman and runs away*
February 14, 2008