1 definition by aaron michael kiser

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THE GAYEST mother fucking MOVIE EVER!
first of all this fucking movie should b called "big retard snake wars" because the only thing i saw were big fucking snakes!i also saw some gay turle things with big canons on there backs....and a couple hundred retarded bird things that were more of dragons than the main fucking dragons!and the story...oh man
the story made no sence thing after thing unfolded before my fucking eyes and it made no sense. for instance, these 3 people were having a retarded speach about how the dragons were going to attack and all of a sudden it turns to a scene where the following happens;
a fire truck drives by and splashes a puddle on a hobo
hobo says "you dirty bum!"
......then it returns to their conversation!!!WTF!!!
and the commercials make it seem like its about two "dragons" fighiting in a big city....that in no way is the fucking case! its about some corny plot that makes no sense and for 5 min in the middle of all this bullshit is one cool dragon fight sean with the gayest fucking shit CGI ever!
you dont even know the main carekters name until the last fucking scene were some ladys soul says"i love you sam"
SAM!!!sam is his name...ok we know that, good.
but speaking of this chick, they start making out earlier and they dont even know eachother!!
i swear its a mix of all the gayest movies and a cheesy porno!AND GET THIS SHIT!these dragons can go through fucking L.A. and destroy everything and not bee seen! get this, after all the destruction is made a lady commits a guy to a mental fucking hospital for saying there was a giant snake. and then the snake explodes through a wall behind them at that very moment and he says that its behind her....guess what??it sneaks off and she still thinks theres no snake, dispite the huge fucking hole in the damn wall!
the most suspenceful part of this giant flaming bag of shit has to be when you never expect the movie to end, then the first credit explodes into your face !!!!!
the all time lamest part though, is when they are driving in a grassy plain on there way to mexico(for a fucking unknown reason!) and there car explodes!they die, then come back again.what the mother fucking asscrackers!but when they do come back to life their in some firey hell plane where theres big tall towers, and get this....an actual fucking dragon!and then for some reason a dragon eats some ladys soul, and starts to cry and winglessly flys away! my theory on all these wingless dragon snakes is there wings were cancerus and they had them amputated.
if you like non stopping suspence(because it never happens)
and the ability to be shot 548937548973 times and still be alive 10 seconds later
watch this load of shit =]fucking japanese movies suck!

the damn movie is worst than one of the saterday night si-fi grade c shit-flicks...like snakes on a plane wasnt bad enough!
when will people learn that snake movies period just suck ass!especialy dragon wars...
by aaron michael kiser September 16, 2007

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