From the vantage point of a rational human with functioning gustatory papillae, a lamb dinner is the gastronomic equivalent of getting kicked in the testicles (some people find it enjoyable, but I cannot for the life of me understand why).
Imagine, if you will, meat that tastes like it’s been marinated in dirty old sweaters, perfumed with a hint of petting zoo, and garnished with the toxic secretions of a cane toad. The consumption of lamb is less a meal and more an elaborate prank gone wrong.
The texture? A true paradox. Somehow it is both sinewy and gelatinous, as though the animal was full of despair and sadness before its untimely demise. And the smell, how in tarnation can it smell that foul? The stench wafts through a home like the ghost of livestock past, assaulting the olfactory senses of every poor soul who is in the vicinity.
Supposed connoisseurs will wax poetic about its “earthy richness” or “rich, robust, and well-balanced flavor” which, when translated to honest English, means “sweaty mutton disguised as fine dining”. It is not “rich,” it is despicable; it is not “robust,” but a belligerent assault on the taste buds.
Lamb should only be served if your guests have wronged you terribly or if you have lost all hope in the potential of food bringing you, or others, joy.
In conclusion, lamb as a dish is best served NEVER. It is a betrayal of the palate, a disgrace to the kitchen, and a compelling argument for vegetarianism.
Imagine, if you will, meat that tastes like it’s been marinated in dirty old sweaters, perfumed with a hint of petting zoo, and garnished with the toxic secretions of a cane toad. The consumption of lamb is less a meal and more an elaborate prank gone wrong.
The texture? A true paradox. Somehow it is both sinewy and gelatinous, as though the animal was full of despair and sadness before its untimely demise. And the smell, how in tarnation can it smell that foul? The stench wafts through a home like the ghost of livestock past, assaulting the olfactory senses of every poor soul who is in the vicinity.
Supposed connoisseurs will wax poetic about its “earthy richness” or “rich, robust, and well-balanced flavor” which, when translated to honest English, means “sweaty mutton disguised as fine dining”. It is not “rich,” it is despicable; it is not “robust,” but a belligerent assault on the taste buds.
Lamb should only be served if your guests have wronged you terribly or if you have lost all hope in the potential of food bringing you, or others, joy.
In conclusion, lamb as a dish is best served NEVER. It is a betrayal of the palate, a disgrace to the kitchen, and a compelling argument for vegetarianism.
Jacob: You should come over for dinner tonight.
Patricia: That sounds lovely, what are we having?
Jacob: A lamb dinner, I was thinking a roast leg of lamb.
Patricia: I just threw up in my mouth.
Jacob: Lamb Souvlaki?
Patricia: I would rather starve.
Jacob: Lamb chops?
Patricia: Que distinguida.
Jacob: Lamb kofta?
Patricia: Que feo.
Jacob: Lamb Shank Ragu?
Patricia: Ohhhh, you know what? I just remembered, I am busy tonight, sorry.
Patricia: That sounds lovely, what are we having?
Jacob: A lamb dinner, I was thinking a roast leg of lamb.
Patricia: I just threw up in my mouth.
Jacob: Lamb Souvlaki?
Patricia: I would rather starve.
Jacob: Lamb chops?
Patricia: Que distinguida.
Jacob: Lamb kofta?
Patricia: Que feo.
Jacob: Lamb Shank Ragu?
Patricia: Ohhhh, you know what? I just remembered, I am busy tonight, sorry.
by Volando Con El Viento April 20, 2025
A highly enthusiastic male devotee to the fanny. His passion runs so deep he is continually accused of trying to “just get in my pants”.
A true Fan Man is a person whose idea of bliss is touching, holding, exploring, caressing or simply laying his head on a fanny.
A Fan Man enjoys everything about fannies. He desires them during all phases of the menstrual cycle, never phased. He longs to pleasure fannies. His empyrean is cunnilingus, but he loves the foreplay just as much.
When seeking to pleasure his women, his play book is as follows: After some passionate kissing and groping, he gently begins rubbing a fanny, when his hands gain entry into the pants the feeling of wetness excites him, he gently rubs the soft and delicate labia between his fingers, he continues to caresses all areas of the fanny, leaving no area unexplored. He sensually builds tensions and excitment with a variety of pressures and touches from his strong fingers. He closes his eyes and sighs as he rubs the fanny, whispering things like, “So sexy and supple... so wet… so beautiful.” As his hands are busy feelings this delicate treasure the urge to taste the fanny grows. His mouth slowly makes it way downward, drawn in by the allure. He is enchanted by fanny and all its beautiful characteristics. He is hopelessly addicted to the delicious taste and the way his woman body reacts to his touch.
A Fan Man doesn’t just "go down", he romances his woman, he pleasures his woman, he adores her and her fanny.
A true Fan Man is a person whose idea of bliss is touching, holding, exploring, caressing or simply laying his head on a fanny.
A Fan Man enjoys everything about fannies. He desires them during all phases of the menstrual cycle, never phased. He longs to pleasure fannies. His empyrean is cunnilingus, but he loves the foreplay just as much.
When seeking to pleasure his women, his play book is as follows: After some passionate kissing and groping, he gently begins rubbing a fanny, when his hands gain entry into the pants the feeling of wetness excites him, he gently rubs the soft and delicate labia between his fingers, he continues to caresses all areas of the fanny, leaving no area unexplored. He sensually builds tensions and excitment with a variety of pressures and touches from his strong fingers. He closes his eyes and sighs as he rubs the fanny, whispering things like, “So sexy and supple... so wet… so beautiful.” As his hands are busy feelings this delicate treasure the urge to taste the fanny grows. His mouth slowly makes it way downward, drawn in by the allure. He is enchanted by fanny and all its beautiful characteristics. He is hopelessly addicted to the delicious taste and the way his woman body reacts to his touch.
A Fan Man doesn’t just "go down", he romances his woman, he pleasures his woman, he adores her and her fanny.
Annie: "you just want to get in my pants"
Fan Man: "well I am an Annie fanny fan"
Annie: "🙄 Good night my creepy fan man"
Fan Man: "well I am an Annie fanny fan"
Annie: "🙄 Good night my creepy fan man"
by Volando Con El Viento April 23, 2025