The Muntologist's definitions

The Falcon Punch

Falcon Punch: An intimate sex act between two men where you dip your arm in gasoline, and drive it into their asshole. Before you begin, you typically put on a red helmet with a blue skin suit, and insert a carton of pop rocks into your partners gaping asshole. Once finished, proceed to fist them a single time with an earth-shattering punch at approximately 70,000 newtons of force, all while punching at Mach 2.2 and yelling “FALCOOOOOON PUUUNCH!!!!” at the top of your lungs. This will ignite the asshole on impact due to the friction between their anal walls and your gasoline covered arm. The shockwave from the asshole explosion may blow them away while leaving their ass on fire, covering the room with blood, shit, flames, and pop rocks.

When Elliot found Jax in his college dorm, he snuck into his room and surprised him with The Falcon Punch.

by The Muntologist July 8, 2025

Great Aether

A rather vicious sex act in which a man throws someone into the air with one arm. Afterwards, the man will jump in to the air and yell “AETHER” before 69’ing the other person while somersaulting in midair. The person in the air will be facing up as they fall to the floor, and the man will likely have busted on their face by the time they hit the ground. The impact of this may send them far away on landing, however.

Tristan saw Jack on the way to Target the other day, and surprised him with a Great Aether.

by The Muntologist July 23, 2025

Water Bucket Release

A finishing blow to end off an intimate sex session. This first begins as sexual intercourse while wearing a turquoise shirt and jeans. When you’re about to buss, immediately jump up into the air as you yell “Water Bucket Release!” at the top of your lungs, and begin expelling every bodily fluid possible onto your partner as you land on them. This includes semen, saliva, snot, urine, blood, sweat, tears, vomit, and possibly even breast milk. If the following are done all at once, please get some fucking help.

Ex. Ryan came home furious after failing his muntology quiz, so I hit him with a Water Bucket Release to help him cool off. He seemed much better.

by The Muntologist July 9, 2025