King of Crunk

A false-title often applied by a previously suppressed high school senior to himself-- under the hot sun and rum-influence of Spring Break-- following his first sexual experience.

Newly self-appointed “Kings” tend to constantly remind others of their status, take off their shirts, use terminology they’ve heard in rap songs, act drunker than they are, and hump everything in sight without regard for attractiveness or gender. Though these symptoms continue well after Spring Break, by the end of the vacation most “Kings” will either have gotten their asses enthusiastically kicked or have enthusiastically thumbed another guy’s ass in a club believing that they have “fingerbombed” a bombshell. Other side effects include increased attentiveness to middle school girls, shit-eating grins, and a veritable flood of brainless nicknames and related wordplay.
Make way for the imperial King of Crunk!”

“The King of Crunk’s scepter is pale and shriveled.”
by The Duke of Drunk April 11, 2005
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