27 definition by Professor Kukui

Someone who only pulls out if they are asked nicely.

Shang: “I’m gonna nut!!”

Maya: “Pull out!”

Shang: “Ahem...manners?”

Maya: “What!?”

Shang: “I’m a polite puller.”

Maya: “Pull out PLEASE.”

Shang: “Too late, bitch.”

via giphy

by Professor Kukui December 30, 2019

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Quick-Tard

Injecting a chromosome directly into your bloodstream to give yourself Down syndrome.

Nate: “Damn, AP classes are pretty hard!”

Charlie: “The sped kids get to practice shapes and colors all day.”

Nate: “That’s it! I’ll Quick-Tard so I can get into their class and pass every test with an A!”

Charlie: “But if you do that, shapes and colors exams may be pretty hard for you-“

Nate: “Too late, I’ve made up my mind.”

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by Professor Kukui September 28, 2019

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Hard-Boiled Boner

When a guy gets an erection while sitting in an uncomfortably cramped hot tub.

Ben: “I love the swimming pool, but this Jacuzzi is so much nicer.”

Gabe: “You said it, dude.”

*boing*

Ben: “Yo, get that Hard-Boiled Boner out of here, you weirdo!”

Gabe: “It was an accident, I didn’t mean to...wait, hold up, WHAT did you just call my erection?”

via giphy

by Professor Kukui July 06, 2019

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Unclogger Donger

When an uncircumcised dude clogs the toilet and uses his open foreskin as a makeshift suction cup to plunge the toilet with.

Kyle: “Damn, I used too much toilet paper and now the toilet won’t flush.”

Braxton: “Stand back, citizen.”

Kyle: “Bruh, did you just whip out your Unclogger Donger!?”

Braxton: “Yessir.”

(Starts plunging the toilet)

via giphy

by Professor Kukui July 06, 2019

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Nico-teen

A highschooler who thinks vaping is cool.

Kenzie: “Why are you regergitating a cloud?”

Joey: “Bro, it’s my Juul, I’m vaping.”

Kenzie: “That’s bad for you-“

Joey: “EAT MY ASS, BRO!”

Kenzie: “You’re a Nico-teen.”

via giphy

by Professor Kukui February 15, 2019

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The Purse

The little purse that teenage girls carry around with them at school for a few days about once a month. They act like it's just a fashion accessory or something.

They are on their period. It is clearly used for holding tampons.

Kyle: "Aww yeah, here come the girls."

Shang: "Heck yea-wait, what the actuall hell is that thing she's carrying?"

Kyle: "It's the purse."

Shang: "OH SHIT, HORMONES AHOY!"

via giphy

by Professor Kukui April 15, 2018

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Chalk Cock

The act of drawing a male reproductive organ on the chalk board before class, and then covering it up with a magnet befor the teacher walks in.
The teacher will eventually take notice of the magnet and remove it, resulting in them having a mental breakdown when they see the penile organ.
Works best with strict and/or substitute teachers.

Pranav: "Mark, why the hell are you drawing a dick on the board?"

Mark: "Just trust me."

(Places Magnet and sits down)

Teacher: "Okay class, Today we are gonna learn about the production of rubber in Africa during the late 1890's."

Pranav: "Fuck me, this is gonna be a boring class."

Teacher: "Hey, what's this doing here?"

(Removes Magent)

Teacher: "WHO THE ACTUAL FUCK DREW THIS GOD DAMN PENIS ON MY FUCKING CHALK BOARD!?"

Mark: "You just got the Chalk Cock, Bitch."

Pranav: "Nevermind, This is the best class ever."

via giphy

by Professor Kukui April 15, 2018

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