29 definition by Professor Kukui

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The most overpowered bullshit machine to ever exist.
Using it in battle feels better than French kissing a cute Asian girl, beating the hell out of a homeless 6 year old, or taking an enormous dump after thanksgiving.
Why does it feel so good you may wonder? BECAUSE IT ISN'T FAIR AND YOU WILL ALWAYS WIN.
Nick: "Yo, let's have a Pokemon battle!"

Kyle: "Fuck yeah bitch, who are you gonna use?"

Nick: "Ultra Necrozma."

Kyle: "GO TO HELL YOU CUM-STAINED CHEATER."

Nick: "My mommy will hear about this!"
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by Professor Kukui December 06, 2017

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A game for 2-8 players that is best played in school, or any other location where rude humor and loud noise isn't tolerated.
The game begins when one player makes a soft/quiet sexual moan. Then the next player makes a slightly louder, more intense moan.
This continues in a counterclockwise pattern until one player decides to "pussy out" meaning they give up and don't want to make a noise. If this happens, the game is over, and that player loses.
Nick: "Ooh..."

Mark: "Mmm..."

Ryan: "Harder..."

Nick: "Oh yeah..."

Mark: "Uh...Uh...UH!"

Ryan: "FAAAAAASSSTER!"

Teacher: "That is very inappropriate, go to the office!"

Ryan: "ARE YOU SHITTING ME!?"

Teacher: "Next time think twice before playing the pleasure game in THIS classroom!"
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by Professor Kukui December 08, 2017

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When a bee flies up your ass and cums honey everywhere. Once the bee leaves your butthole, you only have a few mere moments to wipe away the sticky honey before it hardens and seals your rectum shut. Since you cannot shit anymore, the poop will build up inside of you over the next few weeks, eventually causing your stomach to explode.
It's no laughing matter
Nick: "Hey look Shang, a wasp."

Shang: "Yo, don't get to close nigga those ain't friendly."

Nick: "Woah, it's coming closer."

*shoop*

Nick: "OH SHIT, INSECTCEST!"

Shang: "OKAY, OKAY, JUST KEEP CALM NICK, I'M GONNA TRY AND GET THAT HONEY OUTTA THERE."

Nick: "GET YOUR HAND OUTTA MY ASS, YOU JERK!"

Shang: "I'M SORRY, IT'S THE ONLY WAY!"

Nick: "IT'S HARDENING, HURRY!"

Shang: "I'M TRYING, JUST HOLD ON A LITTLE LONGER, NICK!"

Nick: "IT BURNS MAN, AAAAAH!!"

Shang: "AAAAAAAH!"
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by Professor Kukui November 08, 2017

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The Electro Sex Change is an extremely rare event that is predicted to have only happened a total of 3 times all throughout human history.
It can be triggered by these methods:
A man needs to be driving in a blue minivan over a bridge at approximately 12:03AM during a lunar eclipse on a leap year. If these conditions are met, a bolt of lightning will form and strike the car due to it being made of metal. This is no ordinary lightning bolt, however.
Once the car is hit, the driver will be electricuted so hard that his testosterone hormones will mutate into estrogen hormones, causing his penis to instantaneously morph into a vagina.
Nick: "Guys, Braxton has been acting weird recently."

Shang: "Yeah man, ever since he went for a drive last week."

Nick: "What do you think happened?"

Mark: I've got a bad feeling he may have accidentally gotten an Electro Sex Change."

Shang: "Oh shit, nigga you may be right."
by Professor Kukui September 17, 2017

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When an emo guy lights his pubes on fire and has his girlfriend squat right above the dick. She proceeds to clench her vagina, therefore squeezing out a couple drops of blood, and putting out the fire. She finishes by snorting the ashes left by the flames.
If the girl is not on her period, he’s fucked.
Gabe: “I just waked in on my cousin and her boyfriend...you know...doing it.”

Joey: “Well?”

Gabe: “Well what?”

Joey: “Anything out of the ordinary?”

Gabe: “Well I smelled smoke, but-”

Joey: “BRO, SHE’S AN EDGY TEEN FIREFIGHTIN’ MACHINE!!”
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by Professor Kukui June 16, 2018

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Name used to describe anyone who’s a Chad, yet around 4’9” and near bald.
“Get out of my way, nigger.”

“Hell no, I’m not moving for a Deter Puka.”
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by Professor Kukui June 10, 2020

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When a guy stands up, bends over so his head goes in between his legs, and keeps going until his torso completely wraps around and he’s facing upright again. Now whenever he takes a shit like this, it’ll be coming out the front just like piss normally would. This technique is typically used for those who would like a better aim while dropping a log.
Thomas: “Jesus Braxton, how did you even get yourself into that position!?”

Braxton: “It’s the Super Duper Looper dude, you should try it sometime.”

Thomas: “Does it hurt!?”

Braxton: “I mean, yeah, but now I can actually watch myself take a shit.”

Thomas: “Damn, you right.”
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by Professor Kukui December 14, 2018

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