2 definitions by MeinSchlingenSchlagen
A place that people seldom hear about, and no one cares about, even Central Floridians. On the Western side, it's basically a bedroom community for out of stater Tampa fags mixed with trailer trash and some homeless (yes, homeless). Newest houses you'll find are Cookie-Cutter D.R. Horton turds shat out from the company's un-wiped ass. Once they're done with Thonotosassa, they'll reach for the toilet paper. Sprinkles of ghetto on the Western side regarding some of the residents. Some mini-mansions tucked away, parks and schools. On the Eastern side, it's standard one floor houses with your average Florida country and some trees. There are redneck gas stations everywhere. There's also Lake Thonotosassa and a fish camp where you have to pay for parking. And that's it.
If you want to pay the homeless a visit, they like to hang out at 301 Petrol Mart behind the station. Go give them some mallomars or some shit. If you're looking to move to Thonotosassa, don't, unless you're a yeeyee beefaroni and Bud Light hillbilly, and Dollar General's what you consider gourmet shopping. Move to Wesley Chapel or Tampa Palms.
If you want to pay the homeless a visit, they like to hang out at 301 Petrol Mart behind the station. Go give them some mallomars or some shit. If you're looking to move to Thonotosassa, don't, unless you're a yeeyee beefaroni and Bud Light hillbilly, and Dollar General's what you consider gourmet shopping. Move to Wesley Chapel or Tampa Palms.
Me: I live in Thonotosassa.
Person: Where is that?
Me: You know Harney Road and 301?
Person: Oh yaah I've bin thru theer! Theer's that bridge! *Bridge on Harney Rd over the Bypass Canal where people like to fish*
"Okay Sir I'm gonna need the mailing address"
"Okay, it's 3104 You're Gay Street, Thonotosassa, and that's spelled T-H-O-N-O-T-O-S-A-S-S-A."
*I'm sorry can you spell that again?*
"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKK"
Person: Where is that?
Me: You know Harney Road and 301?
Person: Oh yaah I've bin thru theer! Theer's that bridge! *Bridge on Harney Rd over the Bypass Canal where people like to fish*
"Okay Sir I'm gonna need the mailing address"
"Okay, it's 3104 You're Gay Street, Thonotosassa, and that's spelled T-H-O-N-O-T-O-S-A-S-S-A."
*I'm sorry can you spell that again?*
"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKK"
by MeinSchlingenSchlagen March 27, 2021
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A county in West-Central Florida being infiltrated with more and more people, and there’s a possibility of it ending up like Miami-Dade. Currently, 1.6 million people and counting live here. Plenty of everything. A metro city (Tampa), suburbs, open country, hoods, and trailer parks. Best part is the areas are ALL next to each other. Be in the suburbs one minute, in the hood the next. Expect the panhandlers to occasionally venture into nicer areas.
People keep moving here due to the temptation of living near the Bay and Gulf, USF, and the lower cost of living. Thing is, the housing market is completely screwed up around here, and the sales tax have increased over the last few years. If you wanna be away from the coast and people, try Polk County. If you hate Democrats, definitely don’t move to Hillsborough. This is one of their strongholds.
Elevation wise, there are a small number of low hills in Brandon, Mango, Temple Terrace and Thonotosassa, at least a bit hilly by Florida standards. Otherwise, you’re not gonna find much. Try Pasco or Polk County for that.
Weather wise, it’s poopy just like most of Florida. May to early November fucking sucks, and be prepared to be imprisoned at home if you’re terrified of driving in the rain.
Areas not too desirable: Busch Blvd, part of Fletcher Ave, College Hills and parts of Ybor. Lol, pretty much all in Tampa.
All in all, it has good and bad, just with a shit ton more people.
People keep moving here due to the temptation of living near the Bay and Gulf, USF, and the lower cost of living. Thing is, the housing market is completely screwed up around here, and the sales tax have increased over the last few years. If you wanna be away from the coast and people, try Polk County. If you hate Democrats, definitely don’t move to Hillsborough. This is one of their strongholds.
Elevation wise, there are a small number of low hills in Brandon, Mango, Temple Terrace and Thonotosassa, at least a bit hilly by Florida standards. Otherwise, you’re not gonna find much. Try Pasco or Polk County for that.
Weather wise, it’s poopy just like most of Florida. May to early November fucking sucks, and be prepared to be imprisoned at home if you’re terrified of driving in the rain.
Areas not too desirable: Busch Blvd, part of Fletcher Ave, College Hills and parts of Ybor. Lol, pretty much all in Tampa.
All in all, it has good and bad, just with a shit ton more people.
Person: Man, there’s a lot of traffic on Fowler Ave. Looks like someone’s lighting up a blunt.
Me: Yessir. Welcome to Hillsborough.
Person 1: I heard over in Hillsborough County the A/C at some of the schools broke once again. They also raised the sales tax to 11%.
Person 2: Yeah they raised it here in Pasco.
Me: Yessir. Welcome to Hillsborough.
Person 1: I heard over in Hillsborough County the A/C at some of the schools broke once again. They also raised the sales tax to 11%.
Person 2: Yeah they raised it here in Pasco.
by MeinSchlingenSchlagen August 21, 2021
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