1. Member of the British Parlaiment for Uxbridge and South Ruislip. Said that people of the Congo have watermelon smiles and has been described as a bumbling buffoon by Paul Merton. Also said that women who wear Burqas look like bank robbers and letterboxes (but let's not go into that).
2. An alternative name for a blowjob. This is how far we, as a civilisation, have sunk.
Boris Johnson said something that wasn't racist or bigoted- how dare he?
A popular brand of leather sofa. Characterised by its occasional coughing fits, and a complete lack of integrity.
I bought a nice comfy new Theresa May last week, because my old David Cameron gave up.
A backwater village in Royal Deeside, about a 50 minutes' drive from Aberdeen
, set in a small valley with a population of 2280 as of 2001. The result of this location is to give it ridiculously high high temperatures (for Scotland), ridiculously low low temperatures and a strangely low number of midges
for some reason. It's about the most English Scottish village you could find, sporting a green and a damn pavillion. It has a primary school and a secondary school with a very high concentration of those that one would probably refer to as "dodgy fuckin cunts". But the water tastes weirdly pleasant so oh well.
"Hey have you heard of this place called Aboyne?"
"Nah me neither."
A Yorkshire, ginger haired, stocky, bucket handed legend of a cricket player.
Famous for being the powerhouse of any England squad, having hands so safe you could store nuclear waste in them, and regularly getting at least fifty runs in every innings.
Dave- Ey up Larry, did tha see the T20 last night? Jonny Bairstow scored 130 runs.
Larry- Aye, I did mate, he’s not on form at t’ moment is he?
A creationist ex-Etonian with an aubergine for a head who is so backward he thinks ploughs are high tech.
Ey up, Larry, did you ‘ear about jacob rees-mogg? He tried to reintroduce fox-hunting the other day.