13 definition by Excrushman

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A barbaric and cruel act of cutting someone’s foreskin off his cock. It’s what needs to be illegal except for really bad medical conditions. Parents should not have the right to circumcised their sons. Circumcision is wrong.
American Christian Father: When our son is born, we’re gonna circumcised him.
American Christian Mother: I agree. He needs a circumcision.

American Christian Father: It would be painful. At least, he won’t remember any of it.

(When their son is born, he got circumcised)

Doctors: (Cuts dick)
Baby: Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

(The baby cried for two weeks)
by Excrushman February 23, 2020

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IXL
The worst K-12 learning website to ever exist. It’s a site where kids get mad over losing points getting incorrect answers. Many kids that have to do IXL are depressed, and sometimes even suicidal. IXL is known to make many kids raged at the computer, and sometimes even break them.
Kid: I broke my computer yesterday, and my parents grounded me for breaking it.
Kid #2: What happened?
Kid: I was doing IXL.

Kid #2: Oh yeah, that. I nearly broke my computer as well.

College Student: I’m glad I don’t have to do IXL in college. Things are much better for me nowadays.
Senior: You’re lucky, but I still have another year of IXL. Just one more year of hell.
Junior: I got two years left which is even worse.
Sophomore: Three for me unfortunately.
Freshman: I just started high school, and I can’t believe I got four years of IXL hell.

Eight Grader: Wait, there’s IXL in high school!? WTF!?

Seventh Grader: The hell!? That’s even worse!
via giphy
by Excrushman April 27, 2020

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Having a crush on a second cousin. To have strong feelings towards a second cousin. It’s better and less weird than crushing on a first cousin or a sister. It’s legal to marry a second cousin in most places in the world. It’s still weird and considered a taboo according to certain people. Having a crush on a second cousin can result a higher risk of getting rejected compared to having a crush on a non-relative.
(Texting during October 22nd, 2018)
Me: Hi
Second Cousin: Hello, who is this?
Me: (Says my name)
Second Cousin: Oh, hi.
(They greet each other)
Me: I have to tell you something. Do you wanna here it?
Second Cousin: Sure
Me: It’s pretty long. I want you to take your time to read it.
Second Cousin: Okay
Me: (Explains deep feelings towards her)
Second Cousin: I really appreciate you telling me all of this. With that being said, I’m not interested. I don’t want things to get too weird between us and hopefully, we’ll become friends/cousins.

Me: Well, I’m not looking for a relationship right now. I just want you to understand how I feel about you.
Second Cousin: I understand. Thank you for telling me.
Me: You’re welcome. I just don’t know how I’m supposed to handle these feelings.
Second Cousin: Okay
Me: If most girls in the world look like you, life would be prettier.
Second Cousin: Thanks
Me: You’re welcome.

(Even though the second cousin crush nicely rejected the guy that has a crush on her, he still took the pain so hard which affected him negatively.)

(Complaining to friends about the rejection)
Me: My crush rejected me. I don’t know what to do with my life!
Friend: Well, she’s not interested. I mean she’s your cousin after all.
Me: I don’t give a fuck if she’s my second cousin! She’s all I fucking want!
Friend: Relax dude. Try not to obsess on it. Think about something else like airplanes.
by Excrushman February 22, 2020

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A penis shown in porn films. A penis that has shaved pubes around it. Many pornstars encountered with porn penises.
Dude: I got the pornstar trim. I have a porn penis now. My penis looks like those porn penises.
Dude #2: You’re weird.
via giphy
by Excrushman April 02, 2020

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A circumcised penis.

The type of penis men get mainly for religious reasons. Circumcision is founded by Judaism. It’s also practice by some forms of Islam and Christianity in America. Whores tend to love sucking on jewillies and sticking them in their vaginas.
Whore: (Pulls down boyfriend’s pants) You’re circumcised. You’ve got a lovely cock. (Proceeds to suck on his jewilly)

Boyfriend: (Signs) (Thinking: I wish I wasn’t circumcised. This chick is such a nasty whore.)

Non-religious dude: Seth Rogen is one of my all time favorite comedians, but he has a jewilly unfortunately.

Non-religious dude #2: He is Jewish after all. It’s not just them. It’s also some Muslims and many American Christians as well.
via giphy
by Excrushman April 02, 2020

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A beautiful and cute petite girl. A girl named Piper is in fact the most beautiful and cutest girl with a petite body. A girl name Piper would be awesome for any guy or girl to have as a girlfriend or wife. She doesn’t have big boobs and a big ass, but she can still be considered as one of the most beautiful girls in the world. She’s also very loyal and very nice to anyone that dates her.
Dude 1: I have a crush on a girl named Piper. She is so beautiful.
Dude 2: She’s okay, but I prefer Latina girls with big asses and big tits. Those girls are way better IMO.
Dude 1: Those girls are good too, but I don’t think that they match the loyalty of Piper.

Dude 2: She’s actually your second cousin. I don’t think she’ll date you cause of that. Maybe if you weren’t her second cousin, she’ll date you.

Dude 1: Maybe that’s true, but she’s all I wanted in my life.
Dude 2: Don’t get your hopes too high, dude.
Dude 1: I don’t care if she’s my second cousin, but I’m gonna write her a love letter and tell her exactly what I feel about her. Should I do it?
Dude 2: Go for it, man. You might get rejected BTW.
(Dude 1 wrote a love letter to Piper and nicely got rejected by Piper for being her second cousin)
by Excrushman March 11, 2020

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Eight days a week is another way of saying all the time, everyday, and 24/7. It has the same meaning. Eight days a week is also the name of a popular Beatles song made in the 1960s.
Dude 1: Dude, you’ve been masturbating to porn eight days a week.
Dude 2: IKR. I’m so addicted to it.

Dude 1: You need a real girlfriend, bro. You don’t want porn to be the only thing where you see naked girls for the rest of your life.

Dude 2: True. I just feel like I don’t have any luck with girls.
Dude 1: Just put yourself out there, man. Make more friends that are girls, and you’re meet someone special. I guarantee it.

Dude 2: I just have social anxiety. That’s why.
Dude 1: Don’t worry, bro. I’ll help you.
via giphy
by Excrushman March 11, 2020

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