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Definitions by Careless Winsper

cat 5’d 

The total and utter destruction of any object or person, by any means, but predominantly with shit, vomit or both.

Developed from the numerical scale for describing damage to aircraft. Cat (category) 1 being very minor damage, Cat 4 being written off/scrapped. So Cat 5 would be reduced to dust!

For instance if you entered a toilet that was pristinely clean, but you left it looking like the toilet from Trainspotting you’d have Cat 5’d it.

When the bride to be on a hen do necks 3 bottles of Lidl’s Prosecco before leaving the house and then heaves in the garden she Cat 5’d herself in the pre-game.
Jesus Christ Steve did you just Cat 5 trap 2 with last night’s prawn balti?

Hold on babes, I think I just Cat 5’d my thong playing fart or shart.

Did you see Chantelle last night, she Cat 5’d herself on hooch before they got to the club and ended up rubbing her minge on the high street bus stop!
cat 5’d by Careless Winsper September 15, 2019

fart or shart 

When you’re not sure if the next thing to exit your anus is gas or shit but you go ahead and push it out anyway, that’s playing fart or shart.

You can also raise the odds/danger by adding Pull my Finger to the mix.
Hey Karen, why so glum? You look like you played fart or shart and lost!

Gary! Gaaaarrrryyy! We need to go home now! I played fart or shart, came second and now it’s dripping into my Uggs!

Fucking hell lads, I’m glad I’ve got my hobby catchers on, this is a high stakes game of fart or shart.
fart or shart by Careless Winsper September 15, 2019