First the man grows out a huge bush. 70's style, so if standing on your head it would look like
a hasidic jew "beard/nose" combo.
Then you shave it off and place it in a ziploc
bag keeping it in close proximity to the next location
of sexual promiscuity.
So the next time you're barebacking a chick
from behind pull out just
in time to unleash your jizzum
the female buttocks.
Quickly grab the ziploc
and dump contents all over
. wipe it in nice and good then jump
on her back with enough
that your propelled off the bed on your makeshift flying broom (nimbus 2000)
Spencer: Why is your girlfriend so mad?
Kevin: She found out she sucks at flying.
Kevin: Nah, I gave her The Harry Potter
and her ass barely cleared my dresser.