to the 2007 summer blockbuster Transformers
. Michael Bay is back at the helm in the director's chair
and Steven Spielberg once again serves as Executive Producer. The budget for this massive special effects and action
sequence laden sequel is reported to be at a whopping $200 Million, which
is $50 Million more than the original, not that much
considering the number of new (and somewhat interchangable) robots.There
less of a plot this time around and even
more emphasis on action
sequences and VFX. The dialogue is still
cheesy and the acting is still
lame. In the first movie
the balance was about
Ratio. This time it's at about 80/20 Action-Story
Ratio. To call it a cohesive script is an insult to writers everywhere. Not to mention the numerous geographical
lapses and robotic inconsistencies. The writers couldn't even
keep track of their own yarn they're spinning. It can be best described as VAGUE PLOT POINTS SURROUNDED BY 10-15 MINUTE ACTION
The "plot" is as follows:
--The Fallen sought
to destroy our solar
system in order
to harvest the Energon from
our Sun over
17,000 years ago.
of the Primes teamed up with
the indigenous humans
to stop him.
--The Fallen is defeated. He retreats and waits for his time to re-emerge and exact REVENGE. Humanity doesn't bother to record any of these events into history.
--Sam Witwicky goes off to an East Coast
College to study Astronomy. His parents aid in his moving and dog humping/pot brownie jokes commence.
--Mikaela, who doesn't have
the funds to join
Sam, stays behind to work at her fathers auto shop.
--Before leaving, Sam finds
a shard of the Allspark that
somehow hasn't been found
--After a battle
in the kitchen with appliances that
were brought to life
by the shard, Sam gives Mikaela the shard in hopes of hiding it away
where it can't be used.
--Meanwhile the Decepticon
Soundwave hacks a military satellite to find the location
of another Allspark shard.
--Soundwave dispatches Ravage to attack and infiltrate a military base in order
to retrieve the shard. Ravage with
the help of Reedman steal the shard.
the shard, the Decepticons are successful
in locating and reviving
Earth's atmosphere and heads to a moonbase with
like a crashed
ship. Starscream and The Fallen lay in wait there
for Megatron's arrival.
--The Fallen reveals that
Megatron to kill Optimus for him since only
can defeat The Fallen.
--After a battle
in the forests Megatron impales Optimus, killing
--Meanwhile Sam goes on a search for the "Matrix
of Leadership", the only
object besides an Allspark shard that
can resurrect a Transformer, to revive
--The Fallen seizes control and orders Sam to be turned over
to him and in turn he'd offer Civilization some sort of Sanctuary.
--The Group which
now consists of Mikaela, Sam, Leo, Simmons, The Twins try to find a Seeker by the name of Jetfire a former Decepticon that finds
sources of Energon
and can also
open muti-dimensional space
Jetfire's help Sam and the gang find the Matrix only
for it to crumble
in his hands.
--Sam's parents get kidnapped in Paris. (who cares?)
at the Pyramids
of Giza Complex ensues
and Sam is killed (momentarily) by friendly fire.
of the Primes and it's revealed that
he passed a courage test (or some bullshit) and is revived next to a restored Matrix
is revived a mortally wounded
Jetfire sacrifices himself in order
to bond with
Optimus and make him stronger.
--The Constructicons form
Devastator and attempt to uncover the Sun Harvester by destroying the Pyramids
of Giza, which
--Devastator has five minutes of screentime before he's destroyed by an experimental
--The Final battle also only
five minutes. Prime
rips off Megatron's arm. Prime
then pulls The Fallen's face off and punches out his spark, killing
--Sam returns to College
The fact that
Spielberg was impressed with
this makes me think that
he should be shipped to an assisted living home ASAP. Also
apparent was the fact that
Bay was given too much
leeway on this and the overall
film suffers. The studio
split it into two parts, The Action
and The Story. Bring
in someone credible to develop the story/dialogue
parts and let Bay work on his explosions, since that
's all he cares about
. A third one is inevitable and it's a shame since
the foundation that
was created for the franchise in the first movie
was demolished in this movie
Guy 1: Hey I saw Transformers: Revenge
of the Fallen last night.
Guy 2: How was it?
Guy 1: So-So. Not as good as the First one.
Guy 2: How would you sum it up?
Guy 1: BOOM!!!!!
Guy 2: But Megan Fox was still smoking hot in it, right?
Guy 1: Eh, the novelty
is wearing off.
Guy 2: Dude, do you know
how gay you sound right now?
Guy 1: When you get down
to it, she couldn't save the movie
on her hotness alone. That is too much
for one to bear.
Guy 2: Damn. Hope the thi.....
Guy 1: Don't you even say it!