1. Should this be in Urban Dictionary?
A person that talks about himself in a third-person point of view. Plays soccer and sucks really bad at it like the big dick he has in his mouth when he wakes up every morning. He thinks he can beat people up but grappling and screaming stupid catch phrases isn't a form of fighting. Stalks all his friends and makes sure that they pretend to like him in return or else he'll look bad in front of women he will never get with.
Q. Have you seen Simeon? A. No he's probably sucking a dick.