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1. winding your ass and scratching your watch
Southern slang which describes a condition where one is confused, aloof, or just plain stupid. This condition is the anthisis of winding a watch and scratching your ass; which are normal process for any redneck over the age of 50 who is not drunk, stoned, or both.
Damn son, don't just stand there "winding your ass and scratching your watch", flip the hamburgers!