Voltaire's Angry Glove 

You take a latex sleeve that goes up to your shoulder, like what they use to inseminate pigs, and you roll it in Elmer's glue. Then you sprinkle rock salt and a little bit of broken glass onto the glove so it's stuck to it. Then you shove your arm into someone's asshole and just drag your knuckles up and down along the sides of the colon. Then you shove a rat in there and cork up the ass with wine cheese. Eventually the pressure will build up and the cheese will go flying off spraying fecal matter and blood everywhere.

I just performed Voltaire's Angry Glove on that puppy and now its dead

Voltaire's Angry Glove by Bryton Bradby November 1, 2007

Voltaire's Mechanized Army 

Similar to Voltaire's Angry Glove, but involves an egg beater.

Fill a drinking glass 3/4 of the way with shards of glass and 1/4 of the way with glue. Grind up 1/8 cup of Fiberglass insulation into a fine powder. Fill a bowl with glue.

Dip the egg beater into the bowl of glue to coat it with a thick layer. Begin rotating and dip into the fiberglass. Repeat several times until there is a thick coating of fiberglass powder on the egg beater. At this point, feel free to experiment, try adding razorblades for fun.

Insert the drinking glass, open end first, into the orifice of your choice. Then with a firm swift motion, ram the egg beater in behind the glass, make sure to break it! Begin egg beating away! Mix it up a little though, move deeper and shallower- try different speeds, angles, and amounts of physical force.

Remember, you can do anything well as long as you put your heart into it!

When the angry glove was no longer enough, Voltaire's Mechanized Army was called into action.

Voltaire's Mechanized Army by Almighty Bluebird March 16, 2008

Voltaire's Angry Glove 

A cattle insemination glove rolled in super glue, pieces of glass, and rock salt. Used for anal fisting.

"Timothy, could you fetch Voltaire's Angry Glove? The gimp is misbehaving."

Voltaire's Angry Glove by Jrock LoCash November 21, 2007

Voltaire's Angry Fist 

The act of placing a glove, usually rubber, on your hand during sex.
You cover the gloved hand in a sticky substance, usually paste, blood, semen, honey, bbq sauce, or baby tears.
The glove is than covered in sand, broken glass, or razor blades and placed into the asshole of another person, animal, or baby.

During my fraternity initiation, the second stage was a Voltaire's Angry Fist. There was a lot of blood, but now I'm a brother!

Voltaire's Angry Fist by Tniles September 15, 2007

Voltaire 

What hipsters called each other in the 18th century instead of "dude."

"Voltaire, I'm so high right now."

Source: Unfamiliar Fishes by Sarah Vowell

"Yale was founded by finicky Protestants who worried that the Puritans at Harvard weren't puritanical enough. But the Revolutionary War brought the Age of Reason to New Haven, and (Timothy) Dwight (Jonathan Edwards' grandson) inherited a student body full of deist beatniks on the Enlightenment highway to hell, which is to say, France. This generation did not just read Voltaire - they literally addressed each other as 'Voltaire' the way kids today call one another dude. Like, 'Voltaire, I'm so high right now.'"

Voltaire by clockerb August 23, 2011

voltaire 

The best thing to come out of France.

It is forbidden to kill; therefore all murderers are punished unless they kill in large numbers and to the sound of trumpets.

voltaire by Caius Justinas May 8, 2005

voltaire 

Damn smart guy. One of the reasons that we have the good ol' United States of America these days.

"I do not agree with what you have to say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it. " -Voltaire

voltaire by Demon Phoenix 1337 September 18, 2004