Vidivoice is the disonant echo of your on self-hatred when listening to the digitized version yourself. It's the exact opposite what you want to, but its exactly what your are.
The Russians have a word — untranslatable in English— that describes this emotion...
Czech – Milan Kundera, author of The Unbearable Lightness of Being, remarked that “As for the meaning of this word, I have looked in vain in other languages for an equivalent, though I find it difficult to imagine how anyone can understand the human soul without it.” The closest definition is a state of agony and torment created by the sudden sight of one’s own misery.
"is my vidivoice to drunk?"