Husband: Suppose we'll be having sexual intercourse tonight, dear?

Wife: Oh yes, definitely, sweetheart!

Husband: Anything in particular you'd like me to do?

Wife: Yes! I love it when you rub your penis on my twat penis, baby! Now let me make a man out of you!

Husband: Excuse me, dear, but what in the hell is a "twat penis?"

Wife: Go look it up in the Urban Dictionary, honey! Then give me nine inches and make it HURT!

Husband: Oh no, not again! I'll have to screw you three times and knock you over the head with a frying pan!