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1.
A turtle test is when you're not sure if you need to fart or shit, so you relax your butthole and push a little, and if a turtle's head peeks out, you clench your ass so you don't shit yourself. That is a "positive" turtle test. A "negative" is when a fart comes out.
Dude, pull over, I've gotta take a shit.

No way Bro, can't you just fart or something?

I just did a turtle test Dude, and it was positive. Pull over before I shit in your car.
by Otto Parts December 12, 2012