Top Definition
To masturbate and then cry afterwards. From the infamous Chris Akabusi stories.

Expressing the sad state of your life ie all you have to look forward to is a wank and feeling sorry for yourself at the lack of pussy you have in your life.
I'm staying in tonight and having a tug and a weep.

I would got out and check out some poontang but instead im tugging and weeping.
#spank the monkey #crack one off #choke the chicken #one of the wrist #hand shandy
by goatlickerman June 12, 2009
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