the speech function 

without this useful little tool, Stephen Hawking would not have a voice.

also, you wouldn't be able to mix hilarious but mildly racist terms together in a high pitched robot voice.

"Siyock!!"
"What the hell?"
"Oh sorry, that was the speech function on my Mac"

the speech function by wambulance June 12, 2009

The Greatest Speech of All Time 

Nothing will ever top this one. We have reached the peak of human intelligence. The only way going forward from here as a society is down because the peak is behind us.

The Greatest Speech of All Time-

*inserts chewing tobacco into lip*
*leaves room to make speech*
*spits into bottle*
"Shutruk-Nakhunte, is anyone familiar with him? If not, let me tell you. He was a damn king, sovereign of the land of Elam, destroyer of Sippar, but Shutruk-Nakhunte ain't in no history books. You may ask why, well let me tell you! Great ambition and conquest without contribution is meaningless. What will your contribution be? How will you make an impact?! How will history remember you?!! Shutruk-Nakhunte, utterly forgotten, king of nothing. Thank you, everybody, don't become complacent hooah."
*walks back into room*
*audience stands in shock and awe at what just happened; some shit themselves, and the smell is atrocious*
*luckily, there's a few trash cans to catch the shit before it gets all over the floor*

The Greatest Speech of All Time by Nazeem February 5, 2021

The Free Speech Maneuver 

A situation in when a person comments on another person's comment/opinion/statement/sentence and that other person claims they "have free speech and a right to an opinion" but then makes a biased claim stating that because of their free speech rights, that person should respect and not make comments about their comment/opinion/statement/sentence. Little does that person know is that Free Speech is a double standard.

Person 1: "I don't like black people."
Person 2: "Well I don't like you and I think your opinion sucks."

Person 1: "Hey this is America! I have free speech so shut up you asshole!"

Person 2: "Here we go again, The Free Speech Maneuver..."

The Free Speech Maneuver by K.A.L.E August 30, 2014

The big speech 

Omg, he lectures me each time I see him... mind your own, and stfu.

Omg, just got The Big Speech!

The big speech by Sgrmag August 2, 2018

The God Speech 

First off the following definition is not to be taken to heart and if any Christians are offended by this definition.I am sorry you were/still are offended.

"The God Talk is when a famous celebrity/actor/actress/musician is nominated for an award at a fancy awards show like the Grammy awards and after the Nominees are selected and the famous person won the award they were nominated for goes up,usually with tears in thier eyes,saying how "Amazing it was to win ______ award.Then proceed that they thank God first of all.Even though it lasts a few seconds they only do it so they can win the hearts of Catholics and Protestants everywhere, despite them not even being honest.In other words to be a complete phoney."

Paris Hilton:I so wanna thank God for my debut album for being such a horrible flop yet getting #2 in the Hot 100!M'kay!

"Paris Hilton just performed The God Speech which last 6 seconds.She then starts to thank her family members for the next 6 hours as well all of the precious business people who,without of their help, would not have made this wh**e more apperaling to demented young women and men with no morals"

The God Speech by Taxman September 2, 2006

The Best Friend Speech 

The speech given (usually to a guy) by a girl when he's started a relationship with her "best friend"

"Mate, i'm in deep shit... i spent last night with jane but i really am not intrested in a relationship"

"Yeah so what's wrong"

"Ellie gave me the best friend speech"

"she..."

"yeah..., the...'thing is...she's my best friend, if you fuck her around I will castrate you and stick your balls so far down your throat you'll be shitting cum for a month...' speech"

The Best Friend Speech by sickboy101 May 17, 2010

The King's Speech 

When your cell phone malfunctions and accidentally sends the same text message twice so it appears as if you're stuttering with each message you send only you have no way of preventing it. (without the help of Geoffrey Rush)

I've been called Colin Firth by my peers since my cell phone stutters out each text message I send ala The King's Speech.

The King's Speech by Improvise May 6, 2011