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On The Gripping Hand 

A ternary logic used when you are dealing with three equally unpleasant alternatives rather than two; the third (gripping) hand being dominant or determinative. Expression common among sci fi geeks and computer people.

From a science fiction novel entitled "The Mote In God's Eye" where an intelligent alien race has evolved with two minor arms (with fine fingers for work) on their right and one larger (gripping) arm with three strong fingers on their left.
On the one hand, Obama's a knucklehead and I can't stand him. On the other hand, he still has a lot of people who thinks he walks on water. On the gripping hand, we only have to put up with him for two more years, so we shouldn't bother to try to impeach him.
On The Gripping Hand by Odgred Weary November 24, 2010
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Jack the Gripper 

A homosexual, probably doing some kind of holding of another man's spam javelin.
Jack the Gripper by Ian Chode April 3, 2003

The Grippers 

Gripping on for dear life to the toilet while having explosive Diarrhea. This is usually followed after a night of heavy drinking or eating several bowls of cream of mushroom soup.
Larry's doctor had to explain to him why his love for fried food and Pabst Blue Ribbon kept giving him The Grippers.
The Grippers by BBBWWW March 13, 2009

The Gipper 

The act of masterbating to the image of Ronald Reagan, usually done by members of the Republican Party.
Sean Hannity was caught last night doing The Gipper.
The Gipper by Peppermint Hippo September 20, 2006

grippin the goblin

To furiously beat your penis off.
Michael: Hey wanna play basketball chanhlor?
Chanhlor: Nah man im too busy grippin the goblin

Gripping The Cheese 

Taking a minor matter and unnecessarily inflating its importance.

Comes from a fat kid grabbing rather harshly a cup of dip cheese for his fries after he realizes there is not enough on his fries.
I was driving down the road doing 30 in a 25 and this cop must have been gripping the cheese cuz he pulled me over.

When my girl told me she went to lunch with Pat from work I was gripping the cheese until i found out Pat was short for Patricia rather than Patrick.
Gripping The Cheese by Da215BigBen October 21, 2009

Gripping the goblin 

I was gripping the goblin to some cornhub shit. bungthebooce