|1.||the monkey no-monkey existential quagmire|
1. an existential conundrum that involves both the strong desire to possess the monkey while simultaneously rejecting it.
2. an alternate state of consciousness in which one can both covet and despise the same object, idol, concept or place. may also apply to mommy, daddy, ABCs, elmo.
jack: "NO MONKEY."
daddy: "i believe we're stuck in the monkey no-monkey existential quagmire again."