Teatowel in a tumble drier 

When a male inserts his penis into an oversized bucket vagina and realises that there is very little hope of getting any "purchase" hence unlikely to bust his nuts. Similar in meaning to throwing a hotdog down a hallway.

Brian: I couldn't believe my luck last night when I finally got to nail Felicity but my luck turned when I went to slip in my sausage and could not feel a thing!

Terry: I heard rumours that Felicity has a large bucket minge, Jeff said it was like a teatowel in a tumble drier

Teatowel in a tumble drier by ElWeb September 24, 2012

teatowel holder 

Bumhole (think about it)not the hooks, the ones u push the teatowel into. Also known as a balloon knot

I love when u stick your finger in my teatowel holder

teatowel holder by Ho! July 21, 2006

teatowel head 

pooper noun

a dirty arab
mainly used by the upper class

Lord Henrey Wigglebottom III : you sir are a teatowel head!

teatowel head by poop master zoo August 13, 2009

teatowel holder 

a boner that you can hang a towel onto

I woke up and realized that my "morning wood" could also do duty as a teatowel holder.

teatowel holder by notreallyme February 20, 2009

Grandma's Tea Towel 

Grandma's Tea Towel is an alternative name for but serves the same purpose as a Gak Towel or Doddle Rag. The primary difference is that Grandma's Tea Towel is used exclusively by promiscuous females over the age of 60 to clean up semen and vaginal juices from sexual activity. Grandma's Tea Towels are most commonly found underneath Craftmatic Adjustable Beds and under Electric Function and Electric Assist beds found in Assisted Living Facilities throughout the country.

Nurse Sandy: Mary, will you please call Housekeeping and have them do a laundry sweep down the West wing?
Nurse Mary: Sure thing. Anything they need to know?
Nurse Sandy: Yes. Please ask them to check under all the beds for Grandma's Tea Towel.
Nurse Mary: Are the female residents getting restless again?
Nurse Sandy: Yes. Apparently Dr. Smith is getting a paid vacation from the drug company representative again. The patient scripts for Viagra have tripled in the last week.

Grandma's Tea Towel by Eaton Holgoode May 13, 2014

Pork Scotch Tea Towel 

A filthy article that has never been washed but which Pork Scotch uses to dry dishes. Normal people don't go near it apart from when they use it to kill spiders or to wipe up gunk from the kitchen floor.

Flondibulus: Bog roll's finished, is there any more?

Mickus: No, use a Pork Scotch tea towel. It couldn't get any filthier so the fat twat will never know.

Pork Scotch Tea Towel by Benny Twadge May 19, 2009

Tea Towel 

A Tea Towel (or dish towel in america) is a small towel, used to clean up spills, take hot items out of the oven or to dry plates, forks and knives after washing them in the sink.

I bought a new tea towel today, it only cost $1.99 and it's really nice and absorbant! YAY

Tea Towel by iKielo1 January 30, 2009