Splatter cake

When a rogue squirt of jizz lands in your underwear, leaving you with an uncomfortable sticky sensation that can only be made worse by the presence of pubic hair.

Jim: "My mum almost walked in on me choking the goose the other day"
Gary: "Did she see anything?"
Jim: "Thankfully not. But the splatter cake was the size of a baseball"

Splatter cake by mylittlewhiteslug October 23, 2018

Cake Batter Splatter 

Looking down into the toilet bowl after a loud defecation, to find it littered with droplets of light brown liquid shit, resembling the delicious batter of a coffee cake.

"Does anyone have a toilet brush handy? Gotta clean the bowl; I did a huge cake batter splatter"

Cake Batter Splatter by WillyCravemore June 21, 2018

Splattercakes 

A turd that explodes from your arse with the consistency of sloppy mashed potato... Only brown. Ofter occurs as part of an After Grog Bog (AGB)

Hey Dougie, you should have seen the Splattercakes that I just left in your toilet bowl.

Splattercakes by Flatus McTurd'o'head August 6, 2009

Splattercated

A variation of the word 'splattered'. It means the blood and guts were splattered or sprayed around in a messy way, particularly after a moving train hits a certain person.

"Did you see the news yesterday?"

"Yeah that suicidal person got hit by a train. It's said they were splattercated everywhere!"

Splattercated by cjwuzheree May 4, 2023