Secretariat 

When engaging in coitus with rear entry (doggie style) one hooks his ring and middle finger into the female's mouth bilaterally to provide leverage and minimize the talking. Thus mimicking riding a race horse.

She was all sweaty and kept talking so I pulled a Secretariat and finished up quick.

Secretariat by Freeloading Rusty February 22, 2011

secretarial assistance 

(verb) 1. The offer of services of a sexual nature toward a work colleague by member of the work secretarial pool;

(verb) 2. The provision of, or assistance with, sexual services from someone who is otherwise employed as a secretary.

Person 1: Has Parkie got a license to drive the bus, or is it just his mates?

Person 2: I think it is just his mates. But hey, did you hear Parkie got some secretarial assistance last night after ten-pin bowling.

secretarial assistance by choogil February 12, 2012

Secretarial Brain Pool 

The theory that secretaries of the world draw on a communal brain pool which is monopolized by a few, leaving the majority to fight for the scraps of left-over intelligence. Hence the high turnover rate of secretaries in offices. The longer you work in an office, the more this theory reinforces itself.

"Wow, your secretary seems to do a really good job."
"Yeah, she's pretty high up in the secretarial brain pool."

Secretarial Brain Pool by the schultz August 16, 2011

secretarial condom 

The rubber finger tips you put on your finger for sorting papers, so you don't have to lick your fingers first.

She always practices safe sorting at work. Whenever there are documents to be sorted, she always puts on a secretarial condom before she stuffs his envelope.

secretarial condom by RickyDash March 13, 2018

Scrotaries 

A man who doesn't have balls. He has scrotaries.

J: He doesn't have the balls to do it.
A: No, he has scrotaries.

Scrotaries by 001300 May 13, 2009

secretarial spread 

Secretarial Spread
Secretarial spread means sitting down for a long period of time while the hind-end spreads outward in order to accommodate the chair. It can be changed with exercise, and activity away from sitting down on one's spread for too many hours a day.

Secretarial Spread
The rear end spreads, the separation spreads wider, and the hips get larger.

secretarial spread by Debra Powers September 25, 2006

Secretariat 

The goddamn greatest racehorse of all time. Winner of the Triple Crown (Preakness, Bellmont, and the Kentucky Derby) in 1973, his performance at the Belmont Stakes is considered his crowning achievement. He ran the Stakes in a still-standing world record time of 2:24 (setting the world record by 2 2/5 seconds, or 10 lengths) and beating his nearest competitor by an astonishing 31 lengths. This discrepancy was so large that the widest-angle lenses could hardly capture both Secretariat and his competitors.

Named by Time Magazine as the #35 greatest athlete of all time (highest non-human).

Also the subject of an upcoming movie (2010).

Seabiscuit was the greatest horse ever!!

Man, you don't know jack. Secretariat is, and will always be, the greatest horse of all time. His records will probably never be beaten--the nearest competitor is still 2 whole seconds off!

Secretariat by betelguese05 June 29, 2010