|1.||ream of the ancient mariner|
This requires the use of a dead albatross and a dirty old sailor. While engaged in doggystyle intercourse, tie the dead albatross around her neck, and while she is struggling to remove the filthy animal, quickly switch places with a dirty old sailor, who will give her a good jabbin' and the surprise of her life. Can be combined with the Rodeo. Perfect for breakup scenarios.
I wanted to end it with Jill, so I contracted a dirty old sailor, caught an albatross at the pier, and ended our relationship with a ream of the ancient mariner.