Not quite a professional football player. Semi pro
football teams are made up of these fatties that used to play in
high school, but have since let themselves
go. On the field, they enjoy slamming their waists into one another with the secondary goal of moving a
football shaped ball around. Off the field, they enjoy wearing extremely tight wife beaters that have the American Gladiators logo on them while wearing tiny shorts. They have to eat every thirty minutes, or they might lose weight, so they buy processed canned meats that smell terrible and
snack away even at
work.
When something
funny is heard, the semi pro football player incorrectly repeats what he heard while laughing.
Semi pro football players enjoy company while using the bathroom, so if they spot someone of the same sex taking off his watch to
go take a dump, the SPFP is almost sure to follow so that he can enjoy the flatulence of the co-dumper.
SPFPs also enjoy flinging crap around the bathroom stall, drawing a picture of it, and then telling everyone that "someone missed the seat in the bathroom." It is really the S.P.F.P. that did it, though, because it is hard to tell where the anus is when the buttocks has such a large surface area.
Ian: Is someone dragging a beached whale up the stairs?
X: AhhEEEE!! Thata sum loud thunderus
nose in da stairwell
Josh: *opens stairwell door* Oh hey, guys! Sorry, I'm late. I had to "work out" because I'm a
semi-pro football player.
