While your wife /girlfriend is sleeping, grab a step stool and a bottle of tabasco and head to the bedroom. Now, place the stepstool a couple of
feet away from the bathroom door in the direct path of the
bed. Then shut the bathroom door.
Take the bottle of tabasco to
bed and hide it in the pillowcase. Wake her and start to arouse her. Once you are getting close to blowing your wad get the tabasco ready. Tell her you want to come on her face. Aim for the eyes and while she inevitably has her eyes shut and mouth open, you drop a load and
shake several drops of tabasco in the corner of her eyes.
When you are finished she
will open her eyes and immediately be blinded. She
will run to the bathroom to wash her eyes, trip over the stepstool headfirst into the shut bathroom door. At that
time you stand over her and yell, "You close your eyes when Charlie's shooting at you and your going home in a body bag. On your
feet Private Pyle!"
