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1.
Quite possibly the most sex anybody can have with a woman at once and keep it satisfying for everyone. This little-known sexual "position" consists of eight guys (or alternatively, shemales or maybe hermaphrodites) and one girl/woman (or hermaphrodite)for a total of nine people. The penises are allocated as follows: one in her mouth, one in her vagina, one in her rectum, one for each of her hands (making two), one for each of her feet (making two as well), and finally, one between her breasts. Needless to say, this requires some careful manoevering among the men in order to prevent knees and elbows from accidentally ending up in people's faces, and to avoid a general bruising up of all involved. The actual positioning of the people doesn't matter so much; as long as all of the above mentioned holes/surfaces are filled, it is an nine-way. This is one way to have an "instant orgy".
"Sooo...what were you up to this past weekend, dude?"

"On Saturday, I was busy with a nine-way."

"No way, dude?!?! How did you swing that?"

"Well, we were all sitting around recovering from the gnarly party last night, and we started talking about sex, and pretty soon we were all really horny. We were talking about nine-ways, so we just decided to try it."

"DUUUUUDE! Next time that happens, you better invite me, man; we could have had a ten-way!"

"I don't know; that chick was pretty much full, man; you could have tried for an armpit or something, I guess."
by A card in the wind December 29, 2005