Top Definition

A young male who will give up countless hours of his time listening to the problems of his very attractive female friends because they need someone to talk to about their apathetic, Baywatch jock of a boyfriend because no one else will listen or genuinely care. Although always surrounded by beautiful girls the nice guy can’t get a girlfriend or even facilitate the alleviation of certain “drives” because his “ordinary” physical appearance will forever be compared to the Baywatch beach bum’s. The nice guy would never capitalize on a vulnerable girl, objectify or cheat on a girl, he will go out of his way and bend over backwards to help his “friends” and will never ask for anything in return but no matter how intelligent, understanding, humorous, compassionate, trusting or loyal the nice guy is the female cohort will always pass him up and endure any length of abuse, objectification, apathy and cold-heartedness from a man if he has physical attractiveness, fashion, big muscles and chiseled facial features.

The nice guy will eventually realize that his dependability and empathy will never be appreciated and all his friendships with females are all one-sided. This coupled with years of watching girls go for tanned, muscular jerk-offs with nice cars while he desperately hopes someone will realize that how viable he actually is will spawn and incubate the nice guy’s insecurities and he will eventually abandon his views, dumb-down his speech, take-up weight-lifting and switch majors from cancer research with a minor in theoretical physics to playground management so he can devote his time to emulating Baywatch characters and football players so that he will one day be viewed as more than a “nice guy.”

The nice guy will eventually work up the courage to ask out his attractive female friend but will invariably be turned down because she’s so self-centered that she’d never actually had a smidgeon of compassion for the nice guy’s feelings or even realized that he’s interested in girls. After rejecting the nice guy, the girl will downplay the supposed friendship to the point where they never speak again, which in turn will make the nice guy depressed (ironically, he won’t have anyone to talk to) because he’s devoted so much time and energy and has become so warped from being exposed to these kinds of people that he will either live the rest of his life alone in a tiny apartment, jerking off to old Saved by the Bell episodes or get drunk one night and impregnate a 300-pound, cross-eyed derelict who works at Wendy’s and spend the rest of his life being treated like shit.

The whole ‘nice guy’ phenomenon really supports the idea that people primarily care about physical appearances and that shrewdness, selfishness and narcissism will always triumph over compassion, rapport and “inner beauty.”
"Jeez Patrick, I hope I can find a nice guy like you someday."

"Well, if you need me I'll be at home, crying myself to sleep while masturbating to the sound of my 70-year-old neighbors having sex...I might also play some ps2."
by desperryado October 03, 2005
A guy that ultimately could satisfy the sexual needs of women if they were given a chance. women want nice guys but go for the assholes because women are hipocritical and shallow and couldn't even give the nice guys a sympathy fuck.
i was driving my friend and 3 girls around. my friend got action, and the 2 girls did each other while i got nothing and continued to be a taxi driver. true story.

i wish i wasn't a nice guy maybe i would get laid at least once.
by killioughtta December 04, 2005
A real nice guy is a guy who is just NICE. Kind, caring and understanding but without expecting a reward for it.

A self declared nice guy however is usually a guy who will be nice to you and expect some sort of romantic or sexual reward.

The self declared nice guys usually are the ones who complain about being friendzoned.
Real Nice Guy: Helps you with your problems and provides an amazing friendship without getting angy if you don't want to have sex with him, or date him, afterwards.

Self Declared Nice Guy: Helps you with your problems and provides an amazing friendship, then gets angry when you don't jump in bed with him for it.

Girls are not machines that you put kindness coins into until sex falls out.
Being nice to her doesn't make her obligated to develop sexual and/or romantic interest in you.
by i_bite_vampires January 24, 2013
A form of Man that leads a lonely life and never gets cut a break. Often dies with virginity intact.
I know Colin, he's a nice guy.
by Colony September 20, 2003
The kind of guy who would always be there for a girl, and would never let her down, cheat on her, treat her like shit, etc. The kind of guy that will actually listen to a girl and her problems, and try to help her. And most of these guys, despite the stereotype, still do stand up for themselves, will NOT let someone push them around, and are NOT wimps.

It would seem that girls would race for these kind of guys, but since physical attraction is in truth, just as important to most women as it is to most men, most girls just go for the guy closest to them who acts "tough" and masculine" and is handsome, and will totally ignore the nice guy. And then they'll complain to the nice guy about how they got cheated on and treated like shit, and ask why. Not all girls are like this, but the vast majority, like guys, never dig deeper than the surface and cling on to what they consider "masculine" and go for it.
Nice guy (let's call him N): Hi, I'm always here to help you.
Jerk (let's call him J): Hey sexy, I can beat up any fucker that messes with me!
Blind (mentally, not physically, and let's call her B) girl: Oooh! Hey, J! That is sooooo sexy!
J: Tight. Let's get wild.

---two days later-----
N: So what exactly happened to you?
B: *sniff* he cheated on me, and then called me a stubborn bitch!
N: Awww, that jerk. Well don't worry, you can always talk to me.
B: thank you *sniff*
N: So do you want to hang out sometime?
B: Sorry I got a date with this other guy, who is really hot, and-
N: Oh great, thanks for returning the favor.
B: Anytime! Bye!
N: Wait a minute! Oh shit, she hung up.

***Girls, please give nice guys a chance, or this scenario will keep happening!!!****
by MrCuddles November 26, 2006
a strait man who has gay man relationships with women
hes a nice guy, he does everything for girls and gets nothing in return
by ultimateniceguy March 06, 2005
Nice Guy: Not to be confused with a nice guy (that is, a male that is nice)- When used as a noun instead of an adjective, Nice Guy refers to people (men or women) who believe basic social expectations are currency for sex.
Nice Guy: I don't understand, I'm a good listener, I help carry his/her groceries, and feed the cat while he/she is away, and he/she won't even let me touch him/her!

Sympathetic ear: Uh, because as a human being you should be doing those things in the first place, and OH YEAH: nobody has to have sex with you, and probably won't want to because it's obvious you think basic decency is sex money! To be clear: you are trying to trick people into thinking your Niceness is generosity, when they can clearly see your transactional intent. It's gross. Stop acting like a Nice Guy.
by amiknot? September 03, 2013
Living proof that human evolution has yet to progress to the point where the female's genes have been reprogrammed to finally ignore the primitive and obsolete alpha male and expand their sexual relations to the more intelligent and advanced beta male. This is why 21st century women are still compelled to be sexually attracted to aggressive assholes who treat them like crap instead of reserved guys who treat them with dignity and respect, e.g. nice guys. As a result, nice guys are normally single because women are naturally repelled by them.
Women like nice guys, but won't date them.
by DeskFlyer August 24, 2007

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