The Vice president of the world behind God.
Newton made up a few laws ages ago and everyone now is too lazy to disprove them, apart from the photo electric effect that someone who had no life was able to disprove. His most famous theory is Newtons Laws of Motion that state;
1)If something isn't moving or is going at a constant speed, there is no resultant force.
2)F=ma where Force=Mass*Acceleration
3)For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.
Newton is so clever that the 3rd one doesn't even make sense and yet still everyone agrees with it because Newton>You
Rumors say that when God was creating the world, on the 7th day he asked Newton to proof check the world to make sure that everything works, during this time Newton had to make gravity=9.82ms-2 and he had to make more than 1 type of pi, and change the spelling of it to pi.
Person 1:Newtons 3rd Law states that there is no resultant force therefore the car should be still.
Person 2:Newtons 20th Law says that you should stfu.
Person 1:Curse You Newton!
by R4inman May 18, 2007
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One of the top five nicest towns in massachusetts...wealthiest and safest city of its size in the united states. chestnut hill, waban, west newton hill, and parts of newton center have both money AND class...connecticut should take some notes
Connecticut tool: fairfield is like sooooo fucking rich!
Massachusettian: yea, but there's more to life than money...the only reason fairfield is rich and republican is because ct used to have no income tax...goes to show ya! (newton=high victorian respectability, not 20th century nouveau riche)
by masshole? nah... April 29, 2007
Massachusetts town for which Nabisco® 's classic fruit-filled cookie is named. The Fig Newton® celebrated its 100th anniversary in 1991; Nabisco® built a giant oven especially for the occasion to bake the world's largest cookie, over one city block long. Considering that Newton is a very Jewish burg, it does seem rather whacked that any corporation would build a giant oven there.

The Fig Newton® was almost named the "Fig Brockton," after another Boston suburb.
Newton, like neighboring Brookline, is a town full of over-cautious drivers who delight in sitting at red lights.
by Victor Felix November 22, 2005
When you beat off while taking a shit, while timing it so you drop a huge log right as you spurt, causing an "equal but opposite" reaction.
He's been in the bathroom for a long-ass time...

Yeah, he's probably pullin' a Newton
by Mike January 21, 2006
1. A metric unit of Force, formally written as (kilograms)(meters)/(seconds)

2. A 17th century scientist who pioneered Physics and Calculus.

3. A cookie that is, in reality, "fruit and cake"
1. " I must have applied at least 4*10^4 Newtons to that turd before it came out!"

2. "Isaac Newton is a big moron, Calculus is hard."

3. "Give me one of those figgy Newtons..... or is that figgy pudding?"
by Jordon December 10, 2003
boring town in Massachusetts.
newton is the safest city in america! fun.
by me February 26, 2005
1) A Newton (N) is a unit of force equal to 1 (kilogram)(meter)/(second)^2. . . . NOT the way Jordan has written it. Without the ^2, you get mass*velocity, which is equal to momentum, not force. Named for Sir Isaac Newton.

2) A 17th century scientist credited for inventing calculus and discovering various principles of physics (e.g., gravity, 3 laws of motion, optics).
1) It took, like, 1000 Newtons to push my sister out of my room.

2) Sir Isaac Newton is my hero.
by Hoyvin-Mayvin June 08, 2005
Sir Isaac Newton was one of the greatest scientists of all times and lived in the 17th century. Isaac Newton explained the workings of the universe through mathematics. He formulated laws of motion and gravitation. These laws are math formulas that explain how objects move when a force acts on them
Newton thought that the universe worked like a machine and that a few simple laws governed it.
by nIicegurl January 30, 2005

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