Top Definition
1. A slightly sub haman animal from the hominid family. Often reuses toilet paper and wipes it all over his desired lover.

2. The process of one shitting in one's own hand and using it as a lubricant.
1. You better watch out, you know what happens if you feed the Malkoffs.

2. My girlfriend got freaked out when i pulled a malkoff.
by xxfartxxhehexx April 25, 2008
1. To stimulate male genitalia by means of vehemently clapping one's hands together with the genitalia between them at the point of impact.

2. an ape
1. Bro, when I saw that picture of your mom naked last night, I couldn't help but malk-off for hours on end.

2. Bro, that Malk-off totally malked-me-off at the zoo.
by Tits "Emotions" Hemingway April 28, 2010
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