Sam: "Shut up bitch. You've been nursing that can of Coors Light all night. And as for that ONE shot you took, you spit half that shit up, you two-beer queer."
Dave: "Well, uh, didn't you see me do that 5-minute kegstand? Man I must have had about 20 beers there. I'm such an alcoholic I should start going to meetings."
Sam: "You mean the 10-second kegstand on the keg of O'Doul's? Man you drink like a horse with two legs."